RobF

Thanks so much for "pebcak", what a great word.

Alabama birth control: Leave the lights on - one good look’ll do it.

Laughed my ass off, now I look like ET.

EU listens carefully.

Was in heaven for only 15 minutes before the Devil found out I was dead. Now I sell whole life insurance in Jersey.

Vote Frovo

A single cockroach will completely wreck the appeal of a bowl of cherries, but a cherry will do nothing at all for a bowl of cockroaches. (Paul Rozin, apparently)

There's a man on this train who looks so shevelled and kempt, it's like he's been pushed through a hedge in a forwardly direction.

"One plus twelve" is an anagram of "two plus eleven"

A relic of my childhood. The eyes move up and down when the phone trundles along the floor.

Ireland seen from space

bro you spilled gender fluid all over my new shirt

If a baby hands you a toy telephone to answer, that's a sign of great respect in their culture.

Another chance to spread around Annie Dillard’s extraordinary essay Total Eclipse 👑 pioneerworks.org/broadcast/to...

My dog gazes at my sandwich I say “should’ve tried evolution” I laugh cuz he can’t understand me He shits and I clean it up

"The longer the tongue, the deeper the bumblebee can probe into a flower and bees probably learn from experience which flower source is best-suited to their tongue length."

I wonder how much a zebra would cost if you scanned it

Buster Keaton didn't stand still while a two-ton housefront collapsed on top of him with a window cut out to barely clear his shoulders on each side so you could tell me that AI is "inevitable."

Ok, apart from Rob's tractor, nothing good has happened since Bowie died

My house has been taken over by swallows. I can't wait until the eggs hatch because then at least the parents will be very busy and I can go inside without them getting upset with me.

God: *creating Eve from Adam's rib* Adam: That's a weird way to make people God: Lol wait till you see how she does it

Me: i’m Autistic Them: Oh you take things literally Me: No that’s kleptomania

It's a cold night for alligators it's a cold night for dawgs

I have no Monet for Degas to make the Van Gogh because I'm Baroque.

Sorry for my unpredictability, I was raised by a pack of mixtapes

Melania denies that her Strait of Hormuz was ever open to Jeffrey, confirms that it's still closed to Donald.

we used to use the internet as an escape. now we can’t escape the internet

Wordle 1,729 2/6 ⬜🟩🟨⬜🟨 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

It's a cold night for alligators

Ryanair scum. About half of the passengers boarding flight FR9887 from Dublin to Porto are Portuguese schoolkids. Literally every one of them is being forced to pay to bring on their outsize hand luggage. Cash not accepted. Pay or leave the bag behind. Fifteen year old kids.

Here is a video of people dancing. The music is possibly the catchiest dance song of 1980. If you know of a song from that year that is more inclined to make you want to dance, please post it in a reply. www.youtube.com/watch?v=asb_...

SHAGGY: what did the vet say you have SCOOBY DOO: rabies SHAGGY: zoinks i didn’t even know you could get pregnant

An exquisite rendering in silver of a figure flying a kite. It's 17th century Netherlandish and only 4cm high (Rijksmuseum)

The Andrew formerly known as Prince.

watching my cat investigating someone's tractor. wonder if he'll be a farmer when he grows up

why is it pronounced hors do’urves and not whores dwarves

You should be able to order a firefly to your home. The delivery guy should arrive at your door with cupped hands and gently release it into your living room. And the two of you should stand there and watch it together with silent reverence

Sorry I was late for geometry class, I got on the rhombus

I used no-more-tears shampoo on my crocodile and now he’s completely sincere.