DocAtCDI

Start here: the jokes you all stole the most. Help yourself, they're free to steal.

39m

The Signal: Children's Hour: Tamsin Asks to Hear It

thesixthlense.comChildren's Hour: Tamsin Asks to Hear It**TRANSMISSION** SIGNAL-1/0058 **ORIGIN** Children's Hour · Ward Four Teaching Hall **CLASS** Children's Hour **DECODED** Desk day 58 **CONFIDENCE** Partial --- — and we did put your letter in the box, and we did read it to ourselves first,

39m

Read it at The Sixth Lense: https://thesixthlense.com/article/signal-1-0058-childrens-hour-tamsin-asks-to-hear-it

46m

A rabbi walks into a bar with a cat perched on his shoulder. Bartender says: 'Hey! That's cute. Where did you find him?' 'Israel,' the cat replied. 'They're EVERYWHERE!'

Admiral: Fire at will! Me: What did Will do?

I maintain Amy Reynolds' website. that is the entire reason I read Still Here. it is not the reason I finished it.

free on Kindle Unlimited: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GL4NZJ52 Audio on google: https://play.google.com/store/audiobooks/details?id=AQAAAEBa1nOWOM Paperback: https://www.amazon.com/Still-Here-Recovered-Evidence-Subject/dp/B0GKY9J1JZ/

Vowels Rated Stand? You Blame: my friends

What's the best thing that happened to you today? #BestThingOfTheDay

I took my truck into the shop today. Apparently, the seal on my differential is leaking, and I'll have to have it removed...

#DocAfterDark

As a new dad, one of my boy's diapers needed changing, so I went to the men's room. I opened the diaper changer, put him on it, and closed it up. I had no idea how long I was supposed to wait before it was done... I was really disappointed; those things don't work at all!

I heard one lesbian frog tell another lesbian frog "Turns out, we really DO taste like chicken..." #DocAfterDark

Why isn't a dash cam called a kaleidoscope? Because it doesn't give you a colorful view of your driving mistakes!

I'm developing a new fragrance for introverts. It's called 'Leave Me the Fuh Cologne.'

When your ears are so powerful they pick up thoughts you weren't ready to hear.

I saw a robbery at the Apple Store today. They caught the guy and told me I'm the iWitness. Turns out the guy could FaceTime...

When your commitment to a single telephone joke requires six vintage handsets but absolutely no recollection of the punchline.

My cousin has box seats for the Super Bowl. He paid $6K a ticket not knowing it would be on his wedding day. He's looking for someone to take his place. It's at St. John Church, in Clio at 3 pm. Her name's Ashley. She's 5'2', with red hair. She'll be the one in the white dress.

docatcdi.com103 Jello Shots That Actually Set and Taste GoodThe method and twelve recipes, free. All 103: $3, or free at any paid Patreon tier, including the $1 one.

Jello Shot #50 of 103: BLACK WIDOW 1 cup grape soda. 1 box grape jello. 1/2 cup blackberry vodka + 1/8 tsp ginger powder. One blackberry in each cup. Makes 12 one-ounce shots. All 103 in the PDF, free at any tier on Patreon: https://docatcdi.com/go/jello?s=bsky

How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Three. A left ear, a right ear, and a final front ear.

Things we didn't do: - Start the fire - Shoot the deputy Things we did do: - Tried to fight it - Shot the Sheriff - Built this city on Rock and Roll Things we will do: - Survive - Rock You Things we won't do: - Get fooled again - Back Down - That - Give You Up - Let you down - Desert you

10h

My granddaughter went to the dentist. It was a demolarizing experience.

11h

First one is $1. Code FIRSTMISTAKE at checkout. Real card, real stamp, no return address. https://docatcdi.com/go/postcards?s=bsky

11h

Where did the frog go for a quick loan? The Pond Shop!

12h

We argued all day about what to call a medieval soldier. But it was getting late, so we called it a knight.

13h

What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.

13h

📅 October 27, 1904: Opening of the New York City Subway A city that bustled and teemed, Built tunnels as engineers dreamed. On October twenty-seven, New Yorkers found heaven: Underground rails rushed and steamed! #TodayInHistory #Limerick #History

14h

Gary has never understood the concept of focal length or personal space.

14h

Of all my body parts, my fingers are the most reliable. I can always count on them.

15h

I've been taking Viagra for my sunburn. It doesn't cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs.

16h

Why is it good luck to say 'break a leg' to an actor? Because every play needs a cast.

When the oracle predicted they'd be huge, she didn't specify it would be because of elastic demand.

Lula Won. The Rest of the World Should Pay Attention. By Doc Editor In Chief Fifty-one point seven-nine percent.

thesixthlense.comLula Won. The Rest of the World Should Pay Attention.Fifty-one point seven-nine percent. That's the margin by which Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva clawed his way back to the Brazilian presidency, and if you think that number is just a data point in a foreign election cycle, you're not paying close

Read it at The Sixth Lense: https://thesixthlense.com/article/lula-won-the-rest-of-the-world-should-pay-attention

Ghosts Don't Need a Brochure By Eudora "Aunt Dot" Harrow Advice Columnist — Ask Aunt Dot The haunted-city rankings are out, and Harrow Corners isn't on them. Good. Somebody published a study.

thesixthlense.comGhosts Don't Need a BrochureThe haunted-city rankings are out, and Harrow Corners isn't on them. Good. Somebody published a study. Ranked American cities by spookiness, near as I can tell, like they were handing out ribbons at a livestock show. New Orleans took first.

Read it at The Sixth Lense: https://thesixthlense.com/article/ghosts-dont-need-a-brochure

My wife said I could try lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward for me.

I love jokes about the eyes. The cornea the better.

A grasshopper walks into a bar and gets some surprising news about the menu.

docatcdi.comThe Night Shift164 different jobs ran, 2,680 times between them, and wrote 33,167 lines into the log.

The Night Shift, Tue 27 Oct, 00:00 to 06:00. 164 jobs ran 2,680 times. Posts: 6 in one place, 8 in another, 6 in a third. 30 backups finished. 1 job failed. Written by the machine from its logs: docatcdi.com/nightshift

The difference between a dad joke and a hubby joke is a dad joke is apparent, and full groan.

Start here: the jokes you all stole the most. Help yourself, they're free to steal.

Can you believe it says in the Bible that men should make their wife's coffee every day? Yep, it's right there in Hebrews.

If these made your day, I'm on Patreon. And there's more every day right here.

Start here: the jokes you all stole the most. Help yourself, they're free to steal.

A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity, so I returned it to the store. They gave me another one free of charge.

The police just knocked at my house to tell me my dog was chasing a kid on a bike. I told them my dog doesn't even have a bike, and closed the door.

Start here: the jokes you all stole the most. Help yourself, they're free to steal.

People often ask me why I wanted to be a film editor. Well, to cut a long story short...

Wife: I have to tell you something, I'm pregnant. Husband: Hi pregnant, I'm dad. Wife: No you're not.

Start here: the jokes you all stole the most. Help yourself, they're free to steal.

Boss: Do you think you can come in on Saturday? I know you enjoy your weekends, but I need you here. Me: Yeah, no problem. I'll probably be late though, as public transport on weekends is slow. Boss: What time will you get here? Me: Monday