Skip, the Online New Yorker (terrifying, i know)

shut up shut UP! Shut The Fuck Upppp’!!!!

they should make an AI that’s good for the environment. every time i make an image of a former president with humongous tits, the AI agent goes and plants a tree, and feeds some squirrels.

lmfao

Official release date for featuring, vol. 2 is set for 11/6/26, and pre-orders are now live on Bandcamp!

i got a burger and i #didntfuckit #changedman #idontfuckburgersanymore

there are many kinds of sauces in the world. mint. béarnaise. worcestershire. brown

Real art isn't meant to coddle you. It's also not meant to challenge your preconceptions or evoke an emotional response. It's meant to be annoying

the shelter called and said they’re missing a pile of dogs? yeah, they’re over here, in my replies. attacking me for my good opinions.

You wonder why nobody's tipping? Look at you, you're dressed like a peppermint stick and staring at the camera like you're doing balloon animals at a wake. Who the fuck pulls out a wallet to get depressed by a clown? Wash the greasepaint off and crack a smile.

i lack whimsy

the amount of info and data that you can store in your breasts is called titabytes

apple cinnamon rice cakes with peanut butter, honey, peanuts, dark chocolate, and coconut

fellas is it gay to fuck the elon mussy

Engaging in folly

Bro stop wrapping me up with your bolas, dude. Im just trying to walk here man, Im sick of being hogtied with your bolas.

(guy who has never seen a horse) Im so hungry I could eat a really big meal

the islamic republic of al-abama

rip taylor swift :(

I've decided I'm now immune to propaganda

what we’re not gonna do is make something that makes elon musk look cool. ok? let’s not do that, liberal.

Halloween, also known as "The Devil's Labor Day"

becoming a liberal and getting “Vote Harder Not Smarter” tatted on my chest

is rummaging through the dumpster behind Arby’s

[howling coyote sounds in the distance] me: 95% sure that was an elephant, i think.

what’s up i’m Chet, i’m 31 yrs old and i never fucking learned how to vote

penisman liked your post

listen up mamdani supporters, i just shit myself

libraries are for chuds and nerds

when you need to find information about a subject, i recommend the internet. it’s full of knowledge.

i don't understand what cold foam is or why i'd want it in my drink and i'm kind of afraid to ask at this point

music is the vibe today, on bluesky App

mid life cry, sis

its so funny how when you’re like 15 and you listen to some 20 yr old musician talking about pain and depression you’re like “this is so deep bro, they understand me”. now at 30 i listen to some 20 yr old talking about problems and it’s like “bro shut up youre a child go eat a poptart”

my wife brought a dead mouse into the house and dropped it at my feet and i rewarded her with ear scratches and belly rubs

they’re turning me into an Au Jus, and dunking their sandwich in me. help.

my wife just got home from a 4 day weekend with her girls and she has no voice, bags under her eyes, cuts on her feet, and a brand new tattoo. lmao dog i didn’t know i was marrying ozzy osbourne.