Chris Larkin

It shouldn't surprise me that the barefoot airplane man doesn't know where numbers come from, but here we are.

Not sure how I feel about the new Marvel series' justification of the hero saving the billionaire AI CEO.

Music added

I think we could provide the world infinite power if we strap magnets to Anthony Bourdain's corpse, judging the amount of hokey shit everyone thinks he did now. #Tony

Now is the time to care about everyone, not “once we win” The time to care about everyone is always always always now

“I’ve already climbed all the way up the ladder. Why does the ladder still need to be there?”

Do they do Kiss Cam on the megachurch jumbotron?

An election won't save us. Maybe ten elections might. But this should always be in our back pocket, always.

sitting in the chic williamsburg ramen restaurant listening to the LCD soundsystem remix that sounds like a talking heads song. this is what i imagine girls was about, but i never watched it

I Don't Sleep Well (Title)

I hate Improv Halloween. What do you mean you're going as Passable Object Work?

Having cats bonk their head on me is important for my mental health

If anyone tells you "Digger" is the worst movie Tom Cruise has ever done, either the speaker is directly benefitting from one of the many tyrannical corpos that have a weighted advantage over our lives in service to their own profit, or the speaker hasn't seen "Legend". Or both.

Nolan: The best we can hope for from our tyrannical leaders is they'll eventually see their error and exile themselves from society. Inarritu: Actually, our tyrannical leaders will die like cowards far too late, and their children will make money off our collective need for catharsis. Nolan: Woah.

welcome to Hooter. would you like to see The Boob(tm)?

I am entirely serious when I say that this should be seen as a moderate position. It specifically and surgically dismantles institutions that did not exist pre-9/11 and assigns their functions much as they were assigned pre-9/11.

Who's the idiot who called it The Human Centipede and not

New working paper: the Norwegian wealth tax was a huge success. The "exodus" of wealthy people never happened (less than 100 individuals left). Tax revenue increased by 71.5%. No changes in business activity or investment. www.nber.org/papers/w35854

Don't fugging listen to the reviews. Go see #Digger. In the theater.

You want bleak? The Roku City Courthouse is a Spirit Halloween now.

Ppl are always like “How do I become confident?” But I think the best way to become confident is to have everyone in your family depend on you from a very young age and not give you a choice about not being confident, and then you never have to worry about it for the rest of your life.

The Disney+ app is trash. Why are we letting them run our government?

Honestly, one of my big fears is someone recording my default idle animation.

I mean why bother with all of this? Why even bother with the pretense of art and media? just hook an electrode up to the dopamine center in your brain and keep pressing the button like you're a rat in a fucking skinner machine. Go sit in a dark box hooked up to hoses forever

Epic bacon ass bitch

A supercut of me grunting every time I've bent over to pick up my phone charger cord for the past twenty years.

The Noise Boys play the make one noise challenge 😂

Mr. President, as a Nebraskan who has, in fact, dropped a nuke* in Southern California, I wouldn't recommend it. *wrecked a bathroom at a dive bar in Studio City.

I just want to write PASSIVE VOICE in red Sharpie on his forehead, like so many of my college creative writing papers.

Bad day to be named Sebastian Maniscalco, it seems. Or a great day, if your name is Sebastian Maniscalco and you still have a conscience.

i can’t believe my favorite band the Communists with their platinum record We Are A Bunch Of Communists are a bunch of communists

Guess which one I did!

We are surrounded by Charlie Browns, desperately waiting to kick a football once again.

Yes every woman has been harassed, many assaulted. But every woman has also experienced invisible loss from moments she avoided harassment. She felt a space becoming unsafe, so she left, while men stayed on. And in leaving, she lost: opportunities, experiences, learning, promotions, even simply fun.

no Halloween anymore just hell sorry. if u have any complaints, an ai assistant will be with you shortly to do nothing but piss you off more

Happy Oct-Tim-Ber, everyone! Four new pies this month!

It's a *stare into the abyss* kind of week.

Why do so many Trump flunkies look like The Uncle Who Wears A Kimono

I think about this interview with the distinguished philosopher Conan O'Brien a lot. I actually think this is a healthy way to live your life! www.nytimes.com/2019/01/14/a...

Wild to see so, so many negative comments about using AI to promote your event or establishment, only to see owners in your town go:

as a satire on so-called late stage capitalism how could one beat investors pouring a trillion into a company offering to wipe out humankind