grankly.bsky.social

Chemists Announce Upgraded Periodic Table With Dozens Of New Elements For Just $4 A Month https://theonion.com/chemists-announce-upgraded-periodic-table-with-dozens-o-1839288701/

Sorry I'm late. It took me an hour to realize I was on a stationary bike.

previously, it took just five years to lose $80 billion, but thanks to moore's law, a modern company can lose $80 billion in just under six months, a 10x improvement on the state of the art

Protestors Criticized For Looting Businesses Without Forming Private Equity Firm First https://theonion.com/protestors-criticized-for-looting-businesses-without-fo-1843735351/

Former Cult Leader Reveals How He Escaped Needy Followers

jordan peterson sobbing and red, recounting his experience with one of those turkish ice cream guys

gn

The kicker is *chef's kiss*

Carney begins his announcement of a new oil pipeline by acknowledging the climate-linked wildfire that came close to levelling the town where he's announcing the new oil pipeline. A flat circle.

smoking that shit that makes me look like the live action Moe Szyslak

Been watching through the original and it's amazing. Iron Chef Chen Kenichi: Great man or greatest man?

god this is good

the sea only exists because fish cry a lot

Chekov's gun? Um, I'm pretty sure he used a phaser.

Everything Finally Clicks For Man After Getting Diagnosed As Stupid https://theonion.com/everything-finally-clicks-for-man-after-getting-diagnosed-as-stupid/

Why young people hate AI even more?

techno-optimists befuddled by declining popular support for “the robot that tells you to kill yourself”, “the pervert glasses“, and “the camera network that stalks you”

This is set up for laughs, but it’s actually one of the best demonstrations I’ve seen of how being capable of producing convincing sounding language and understanding meaning are two completely different things. A chatbot does not understand you, it just has automated responses based on your words.

MISSED CONNECTION: You were waving at me out of a train window as it entered a tunnel. I have your arm.

if carney really wants to hurt the us economy he should tariff its most lucrative industry, explosive diarrhea

Endless Summer

Introverts are often told to socialize and talk more, while extroverts are rarely encouraged to shut the fuck up.

WAR PIGS BUT ITS ABOUT MILLENNIAL NOSTALGIA: do you remember drinking SNAPPLEEEEE / listening to fiona APPLLLEEE

sidling up to your table and asking if we can turn your banh mi into a banh we

Paramedics Praised For Being Too Late To Save Lindsey Graham

Kid1, who is both an conductor and engineer for CN and has driven trains through SK wildfires himself, just sent me this video from Ontario. When I tell you they arent paid enough!!! vt.tiktok.com/ZSXkuEadE/

I can't believe Cristiano Ronaldo would be accused of rape and then hold his team back when he's totally washed, massive disrespect of Kobe Bryant's legacy

“This sunscreen smells like eggs.” -me, drunk at the lake and smearing myself with mayonnaise

Wait for the puppy.. 😅

this is a masterpiece

Saving this as reference for the next time the Brits get frisky about accurate assessments of the dire state of British “food”. (1/2)

A lot of people say that Grogu shouldn’t be allowed to be in movies because of all those Tylenol bottles he poisoned in the 1980s. But he’s paid his debt to society and been a model citizen ever since. We can’t just cancel somebody forever.

Gas Station Price Sign Using Scientific Notation

Nooooooo

Graduating high school before ChatGPT is like having a brain made of recovered steel from warships old enough to not have been weakened by atomic bomb isotopes.

wandering the Sonora desert in a carefree fashion like

You are a skilful and trusted vizier. You will advise me wisely on how best to rule the kingdom. You will not scheme or plot. You will not inveigle my other courtiers into turning against me. You will not lie to me about scheming or plotting. If you scheme or plot against me, you have to tell me,