Steve Hameister

A zigbee smart bulb can't break, it can only become light bulb.

The two white dreads that are acceptable are the singer from Strike Anywhere and the singer from Counting Crows

sorry if I seem weird and intense now, it’s because I’m now weird and intense

If I could take every bigot to this Afghan kabob place in Niles, Illinois, I think I could solve world peace.

We're of course, rooting for Forest in Europa? I guesssss?

You ever watch a real beater roll into the carwash and ask "......why?"

Growing my hair out and I've reached the Brek Shea part of the process.

I mean, there's just no way of knowing what is or isn't a push

"peter thiel is funding clavicular, a meth addict who hits his face with a hammer on livestreams" You bolt awake in the mountains of Carthage. You are not online. It is 217 BC. You are the general Hannibal, and you have changed your mind. The future cannot come to pass. Rome must burn

Thoughts from the Say Anything set: the 00s indie punk scene was a really unwelcoming environment for anyone not a dude, huh?

potbelly is the new quizno's (derogatory), jersey mike's is the new subway (complimentary), firehouse subs is the new blimpie (derogatory)

Geese is just We Have Phantom Planet At Home.

Show him grandmas on dutch bikes.

i’m at the taco bell i’m at the urgent care i’m at the combination taco bell and urgent care

would you know my name if you shot me in the face in heaven

"Palantir Technologies: The Future Will Never Surprise You Again." Rarely does a podcast ad chill me to my very core.

made this at 5am idk

Hey Dune

I've never seen Step Brothers. And I think it's more fun to be able to say that and get reactions than I could ever have watching Step Brothers.

Music added. Hosted on YouTube as BSky video uploads always fail for me. youtu.be/2x5-JtDhTns

"please rate your package delivery" i mean ill click the smiley face because i assume it impacts the poor bastard who delivered it but i must impress upon you that forcing both him and i into this situation is an act of utter inhumanity and furthermore that god frowns upon your deeds

You know who else didn’t have any amendments? Jesus Really makes you think

Calling peoples' employers in a rage because their tributes to Robert Redford weren't horny enough

Choose the form of the Destructor!

Pushing Daises. Wonderfalls. (All the Bryan Fuller) Tucker. Andy Richter Controls the Universe.

The point shouldn’t be he wasn’t an asshole so he shouldn’t have been shot, it should be we don’t condone extrajudicial killings of people just because we think that they’re assholes.

how does one continue getting up in the morning and going to a job, how do you teach kids right from wrong or dispense advice about how to navigate this world? magnificent, truly

You see, it's not the absence of the lowest common denominator that oppresses them, it's the existence of anything else

Brennan Johnson is the Chris Carter of wingers.

*nervously* The press looks good!

When you're driving, and it's dark, and you grab and eat the last potato wedge, but, you did not know it was the last potato wedge until it was gone. 😢

Sorry I'm sorry I'm trying to delete it.

live your life so the pierogi guy doesn't hate you

Making my kid's middle name "Comma" so nobody knows which one's the surname.