Grey V. Buckets

Our blessed cornball prophet

John Wick slumps down, dying. He sees his wife, waiting in heaven for him. He takes her hand. His eyes close. He wakes up in heaven, smiling at his wife. 'I'm in,' he says, "the plan worked,' straightening his tie and drawing guns, 'now it's time for God to pay for what he did.'

They’re shutting down horse and carriage rides in NYC. Sorry guys, you’ll have to think of some other super romantic way to breathe in hot diarrhea air

Wet, Screaming Piles of Viscera

PRISONER 1: "Okay, so the cops offered me a reduced sentence if I sell you out, so I'm doing that. But if you sell me out, too, we BOTH get the harsher sentence, so I need you to stay quiet, okay?" PRISONER 2: (stares balefully in silence) PRISONER 1: "Yeah! Just like that. Good."

Shaming and bullying people for doing objectively bad things to other people is good, actually

“There is no such thing as a criminal mastermind in the real world. There is no perfect crime.” The Real World:

four years ago I posted this image of paleontologist Jan Smit looking at rocks and his son-in-law replied with something even better

Working on an 80s music doctoral thesis that explores how female artists went from bragging about having the beat to warning us that it was gonna get us

"That eightball of coke isn't in the United States, it's in Fiji" >cut to a bag of blow in a "Fiji" water bottle.

hail gay be drugs do satan

So, when you think Diogenes carrying a lamp to seek an honest man, think less “polite inquisitor with safely shielded light source,” and more “professional troll in the mall shoving open flames in your face and asking you if you think you’re smart.”

Reacher is for millennials who think the Death Wish movies are too old (complimentary)

i’d rather DEI

xavier: the only way we can stop magneto is to suck his dick... but he's a hundred feet in the air! gloryhole, the mutant who can create small portals anywhere on earth but only next to human penises: it's ok, professor. i used to want to be normal, but now i see i was meant for more than that

Chef Boyardeez nuts

Wtf Reacher is getting carved like a very poorly but thoroughly sliced at Thanksgiving turkey

“We’re talking right now like two completely normal and not at all animatronic human beings.”

(to the tune of “Hurt” - Johnny Cash version) 🎶I shit myself today🎶

even now, she's still teaching us

local man weighs in

“There is no indication that you are so willing and prepared.” Devastating burn.

I really don't want to believe the "intentionally weak controlled opposition" theory, but I keep coming back to the realization that if it was true, they wouldn't be acting differently.

At a certain point people need to accept that politicians who uncritically support genocide and think voicing valid criticisms of the police was a generational political blunder aren't going to fight fascism

The older I get the simpler the politics feel. The value of time compared to everything else. We should have our time, our time is our birthright, fuck them for stealing it from us in so many ways

Do you think Goku trains with a weighted blanket to be stronger in his sleep

So what do I do if it turns out Olivia Octavius is my type. Where do the comic book villainesses hang out at.

why should anyone be surprised when a flock flies away

the mainstream press praising rod liddle in death are not unaware he was a bigoted pedophile, they like him for it. the people in their in-group, at the top of their hierarchy, getting away with crimes signals that the world is in order. it is a moral good, to them. the bigger the crimes the better

I'm here you fuckaas bitch