Devi👻side

Men be like “I’m fighting demons no one knows about” and it’s just about washing their ass

Asking someone was that a draft when they say something

Someone door dash me chicken nugs

Do fish ever get thirsty

I have two wolves inside me. One wants to go out and experience life, the other wants to bed rot

Girls Just Want To Have Fun Between My Legs

I wonder how many times I’ve been someone's weird story

Fuck Electric Avenue. Take me to Flavortown

I want to buy a new collar for my cat but idk what her vibe is

I’m not afraid of the supernatural. I’m afraid of ghosts with no cultural references

sorry for posting, I like attention

she was classy. like a bendy straw

Yeah I like reading Reading too much into things

Been listening to the same song for 3hrs if that tells you anything about my brain. If it does, plz tell me what it tells you.

can we make “idkwtfigo” a popular acronym for “i don’t know what the fuck is going on”

every morning I wake up and come up with new and outrageous ways to ruin my own day

isn't it wild that we're all strangers and yet there are so many of you that I would be devastated to never talk to again

Ruin a song by adding "In My Pants" to the title. Through The Fire and Flames In My Pants

Bf: have you eaten today Me: coffee and Red Bull Bf: eat some berries

I was called passive aggressive because I told a deaf woman (I didn’t know), in an EMAIL (that she’s reading), “since I haven’t heard back from you….”

Who tf summoned Juliannaaa

Contemplating making new horrors for the world to enjoy

Give me four versions of you

I have now closed 13 sales this month I have gotten even gooder at the sales

My boss: you’re doing a great job. I’ve very happy with your performance Me:

I wish I could say this was a good skeet but it is downright evil in its intentions

riff is short for “terrific chat, best friend”

one nation under zeppelin indivisible by god

Me: damn those bots Bot: ikr!

just me and my attention span against the clock

Just skeeted and deleted three times

@chelchell.bsky.social happy birthday girlie!

An apple day keeps the doctor away but unfortunately does nothing for the horrors 

Her: ima pop this pussy for you Me: you sure? that sounds dangerous

If you see this, post something Blue! 🔵

I am stoned enough to contemplate McDonald’s but not stoned enough to DoorDash McDonald’s

Being in a healthy relationship is crazy because what do you mean I can just tell him how I feel instead of consulting the council

My boss: you’re getting a lot of tasks done today Me: *stoned and listening to dubstep*

My cat: pet me Me: *pets her* My cat: no not like that *bites my hand* Me: don’t bite the hand that pets