madsushi

REACHER: I need help with my iPhone SUPPORT: regular iPhone or duo? REACHER: how can I tell SUPPORT: if it folds it’s the duo *extremely loud crunching noise* REACHER: it’s the duo

sweeping the “hooters breakfast menu” category on jeopardy then looking out in the audience to see my wife giving me a thumbs down

i'm going to be visiting Seoul for a couple of days and Shanghai for a week or so in August; would appreciate any recommendations for things to do/see/eat in either place. i've been to each once before around a decade ago

i do like going to the movies, but there are some benefits to watching at home on the couch

i'm going to be visiting Seoul for a couple of days and Shanghai for a week or so in August; would appreciate any recommendations for things to do/see/eat in either place. i've been to each once before around a decade ago

It’s time.

people will scold you for joking around when things seem really scary and fucked up. brother, those are the times what we invented joking around for

In our name, with our money, ostensibly for oil, but mostly because we have a president who's addicted to power and attention and needs to deflect from being friends with the world’s most famous pedophile. Shame on these fucking monsters who run my country. They need out.

Mike Macdonald on fans booing after the FG unit came on the field before he called a timeout and decision to go for it: "I did hear the fans, yeah. Turns out they were right."

Mike got bullied by the 12s hmmn

Reporter: Are affirming that you think Trump is a fascist? Mamdani: We’ve spoken about— Trump: That’s ok, you can just say it.

Turns out the Pope is a major cinephile.

incredible that we, as a society, let dodgers fans complain about anything

On October 3rd, I’m asking you to register to vote. zohranfornyc.com/register

on top of just being purely blissfully happy there's the incredible spite bonus that every soulless little ghoul who decided to pretend they hadn't ever denounced cuomo is getting absolutely nothing in return

If an American posts “oh shit oh fuck” with no other context it’s because something happened in a baseball game, if a British person posts that it’s because something happened to Doctor Who

bea's puppies got their first taste of the outdoors today

Bea had her litter of puppies last week! Six golden retriever pups, all healthy. We used flower names for this litter. Puppy cam and details at swarmofbeas.com

Bea had her litter of puppies last week! Six golden retriever pups, all healthy. We used flower names for this litter. Puppy cam and details at swarmofbeas.com

I still can't believe my name is going to be forever tied to a foot mystery (but also I'm so glad these are getting more widespread than the websites/source/etc. I've posted it on so far).

Important to celebrate the W’s. Eat shit, Elon

look at this absolute unit

These are the same Senate Democrats who lectured the base for years about the importance of preserving the filibuster so it would still be available when Democrats were in the minority

ok the Reacher guy keeps it real as hell

i only run the "I Fucking Love Sarcasm " account to fund my passion project: the "I Fucking Love Fealty" account

In a sentence never before uttered by humans, I am delighted to share that an alligator stole my conservation instructor’s hat by jauntily walking into the water while wearing it 🐊

this haptic display absolutely rocks. basketball is for everyone.

EZEE FIBER IS COMING TO KENT "The addition of another internet service provider bringing high-speed fiber optic internet infrastructure to everyone in our city will provide a competitive option and elevate the overall market.” - Mayor Dana Ralph bit.ly/4hi5OAm

new costco strawberry banana smoothie was replacing my favorite fruit smoothie in the food court. good news: the new one is excellent

horizontal blinds half open to the winter world flipbook snow falling

our nation has a Kennedy missing his brain and now a white man from Dallas is about to help LBJ win. welcome back, 1963

BREAKING: The Los Angeles Lakers have acquired Luka Doncic, sources confirm to The Athletic. LA is sending Anthony Davis, Max Christie and a 2029 first-round pick to the Mavericks for Doncic, Maxi Kleber and Markieff Morris in a three-team deal involving the Jazz.

personally I pay my duties on all my imported Chinese fentanyl

i love minor league hockey

The American people spoke, and they wanted Elon Musk to be able to share Americans’ personal information from government databases to whatever 19 year old gamers he’s trying to impress on Discord

tag yourself

every game development story in existence can be placed somewhere on this scale (when looking for the minimum cowboy/maximum cowboy tweet i realized you ALSO posted that so thanks for being a prolific game development analyst)

oh, youre here from tik tok? (chuckle's lightly ) Is that like reddit for babies

Severance #severance #pixelart

So here's what's cool about my job: Yesterday morning I said, "We really ought to have TWIN PEAKS available." So then a bunch of people scrambled, worked really hard, and now you can watch every episode of David Lynch & Mark Frost's original series for free on Pluto TV: pluto.tv/us/on-demand...

if a portal appeared i would go through it no questions asked

Guys, yesterday, I needed a cord I’ve been holding onto for 10 years. IT WAS ALL WORTH IT.