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that's my friend @cursedsynth.bsky.social

allpowerful creator being ("God"): lol humans? nah man my favorite shit is bacteria

bluesky moderation filter is absurd lol. they dont want you to know hoop and stick history

bringing back hoop and stick would fix everything. we never shouldve abandoned it

hey we're all gonna go post guitar-shaped tchotchkes on the music instruments section of craigslist, you wanna join?

they let you trade money for food at the grocery store

looking at my date and smiling knowingly every time they show a thing in The Thing

(every time im wrong about something): woah, mandela effect! i couldve sworn i was right

cenk nicholson @SNL.bsky.social

you like posts motherfuckers?! how about THIS one?! *shoots posts directly into the heads of my clamoring hoard of followers

my cousin's addicted to melba toast. it's ruining his life

the first person who ever put the lime in the coconut was probably considered insane by their peers

i could post "ai yukio mishima hologram"

its funny to have an ex-president that's a kinda petty cloutchaser

would you still love me if i weren't a worm?

watching my son get obliterated in filicide chat

i appreciate grotesqueries but theres too much of it lately even for my taste. it shouldnt be everywhere

(confusing LMFAO for a vague memory of Milli Vanilli): didnt you hear? LMFAO are fake. they didnt exist

my parents generation will complain about how crude rap is and then boogie to a smash hit from when they were in high school called "funking you raw"

just came across an awesome name: "Mafalda Minnozzi". hats off to you, Mafalda

its simple: if a food vaguely resembles a brain, it improves cognitive function

Before he was Mr. Bean, he was: BEAN

i resent that katy perry has been living my dreams: being put in a tube and shot into space

i met Mr. Rude Bitch and he was actually a pretty nice guy

("do you have prince albert in a can" voice): do you have katy perry in a bottle?

this is what being a guy is all about

CREAM BEAN

may i piss and shit in your "water closet"?

(emerging from your closet): make yourself at home

(knocking on your window): can you explain your post to me?

asking a clumsy person if Mr. Bean is their hero

a paramecium is so ignorant

i think maybe instead of everyone spending half the time online and half the time in the real world, half of us should only live only and the other half can only live in the real world. except for a few ambassadors that can cross over to inform

what if zoomers somehow got into "Mind of Mencia"? what then?

trying to explain to my wife that the Engelbert Humperdinck hologram is just as good but she's not having it. she wants the kim kardashian dad hologram, plus Tony got Barb one...

Edwin from the cul de sac is planning on calling his son "Godmode". i told him he can't do that but he says its up to him. that it's his baby