wint

they didnt use my idea to bring Apu back as a Vietnamese guy who can transform into an alien. But thats ok. I will still TiVo every episode.

when the CIA attempted to recruit me, they said I could suck any cock on earth. Any I desire. I turned down their offer because i am not Gay

you dont wanna see me get Bad

people ask me if i listen to bieber and i smile simply and say simply yes. Then I show them this and they lose their fucking shit

a prominent member of Film Twitter told me to "Suck his dick" just because i said that my favorite movie is the tv show Scrubs

just got an app on my motorola razr that does the Howie Scream when ever my fingers or my toes or my penis is bitten by dogs

It's Little Tiny Ass Dick Month. If you celebrate, you probably got a stupid ass nasty little dick. Go fuck your self

If you come at me with shit head energy, I will respond in kind. If you approach me gently, like you would with an insane animal, I will reward you with Unlimited Access. Take notice, and learn .

Jeans Israel

And here we go. Already Ive been tricked into sending my penis to three of these so called "Group chats". I now have no choice but to shut down my alt where I pretend to be a 36 yr old Sex Worker from Brooklyn, offering my calloused, world weary perspective interspersed with moments of gentle warmth

im getting word that my trolls are taking advantage of their newfound ability gather in darkened chat rooms to accelerate their plans to; you guessed it, murder me . is that Responsible Use as delineated in the Terms of Service? No it is not

blue sky used to be a community. now every ones off in their own little private rooms talking trash & posting nasty pics. Hate to be the one to say it but group chat culture has made this web site a bastard's website

every one please vote for me to be the next james bond and if you are in line stay in line

getting carbombed after a palantir thinktank pays me $125 to pretend to be a Gay Looking Ethical Non Monogamist who is glad alcatraz closed

this wall art company keeps emailing me about doing some sort of collab and the top 4 featured could not possibly be any more good

fantasizing about dealing w/ a loud dog; like by turning on a giant fan that blows all the hair off its body. or doing havana syndrome to it

beloved robot PeePee 2.0 is slain by a car in the new star wars movie—And no; they cant make another one because its soul would be different

why breed dogs with jaws large enough to tear through Flesh, when you could breed dogs with minds large enougj to tear through Fallacy.....

We must carry His spirit. It is time

me and the boys on the USS Abraham Lincoln eating boiled boot leather and sharing stories about the most Realistic Pussy we've ever seen

weaponizing extreme misogyny by asking every girl in my contacts list if they are Wet Jeans Club or Dry Jeans Club

"My Hubby Is Perverse— Masturbator Does The Unspeakable"

"Your posts are worse than Bieber" "Shirt look like a shop rite bag" "You have sold out the fans ." Every Accusation is a Confession. —DRIL

when i become mayor your penis will not dissappear inside of your balls whenever you sit down . That will not happen anymore

google doodle fans are shocked to see that today's one is just a pic of some guys shit. well played sir, april fools is once again Respected

Attn All Lovers Of Doggos, Pupperinos & Furbabies—We Are Collecting Your Pets To Send Them To Beautiful Israel Where Theyll Become Champions

i can only hope that if I was a Bimbofied Husband i too would have a wife who loves & supports me & sucks on my comically enormous fake tits

Im so frustrated with the inefficiencies of the US Gov't Im just going to directly contact Israeli guys on here & offer them Blood Sacrifice

the word " yolo " .... i will never say such shit

Would the fans support me if I decided to become a Nonverbal Autistic Man? Or would I get the usual runaround from clout chasing dick heads

sitting in traffic when a smart beautiful woman, w/an amazing personality, walks close by—about 5ft away. i lock my car doors out of respect

every comment section needs at least one guy just fucking losing it for no reason

i guess those celebrating soras death didnt get the memo that some of us need daily personalized greetings from james bond—for mental health

Gaming Lover Dad Shirt for Him, Gamefather Daddy Men's T-shirt, Video Gamer T-shirt for Men, Father's Day Video Games Tee from Wife

thanks to AI our slow and humiliating national suicide will be punctuated by visual media that is so good even a dog could jack off to it

were back to calling vomit "Throw up" . like "look at that pile of throw up over there" or " my ass is covered in throw up"

when the freaks dm me i usually figure out their Game fairly quickly. But this , to me, is a total mystery. I cannot assess the threat level

to r/micropenis—Just Saw An Edward (guy with normal penis size) Fuck Up Trying To Flatten A Cardboard Box By The Dumpster...They Are So Lost

my new politics adjacent thing is getting really pissed off when people give a human name to a Rat

fellas drop everything , cancel all your plans and take your girl to this . and i Fucking Guarantee she will nut you off