Bailey

when the CIA attempted to recruit me, they said I could suck any cock on earth. Any I desire. I turned down their offer because i am not Gay

“you can see everything” should have been called “you can see the movie.” as a matter of fact, that should be the title of every movie

(guy whose wife is currently pregnant voice) it probably takes one year

I thought this was just beautiful. Kurt Vonnegut takes a walk to mail a letter:

once a bunch of miscellaneous crap has been put into a neat little pile on a side table it’s not going anywhere. it lives there now.

@jonbois.bsky.social watching tennis

so much of this criticism of ai betrays a serious lack of introspection and awareness. have you ever driven a car? rode on a train? sent your kid to school on a bus? congratulations, you’ve used a wheel and axle. i felt like talking about something else in the middle of this post and that’s my right

Hijacker: Everyone stop talking. I am armed and I am taking control of this plane. Guy from the Netherlands: Wow, in Netherlands we just purchase a plane if we want one. But typically we will bike somewhere Guy who has been to Japan once: In Japan planes are rarely hijacked. It's a cultural taboo

if the cheese banks fail we will have a problem worse than 2008

if they're drinking nounwine it's fantasy. if they're snorting a verb it's sci fi

british news be like "A titan has fallen, and the lion's whiskers grow a little grey. England mouorns a true patriout" and you look the guy up and his main deal seems to be writing columns like "What happened to the Gloury days of seeing a bit of tit in the chewspaper?"

basically every word he said here is Interesting

the battery on my phone isn’t holding a charge very well anymore so i’ll probably need to get a new phone soon. i’ll keep you all posted on the timetable. while i’m not an expert on spiritual matters, my best guess is that you’ll all be reincarnated

"it looks like you're using an adblocker to visit our site." yep! ha ha! it rocks!

Everyone wondering what Nolan should do next and “yes I said yes I will yes” is right there

YO PAELLA MAN

so wait you basically can’t even use your hands at all unless you’re the weird guy at the end

BAH! Enough talk! My <Beam Blast> shall make short work of you!

You're laughing... I can't withdraw my Bonk from Kraken and you're laughing?

“It’s the World Cup — expect the unexpected.” - Jon Bois

Four-year-old just told his toddler sister “it’s time for the hunt” and they both left the room. Not my business

researching baseball

this is a picture of what i looked like the last time the knicks were in the finals

YOU - “I approve of this, very futuristic.” (Tap on the girls kissing.)

An under-discussed aspect of Jesus’s life is how he must have aged at a supernatural rate, something like eight years for every calendar month, in order to be a 33 year old man in time for Easter

One of the best to ever do it

trying to convince my friend that there really was a nintendo DS launch title called “Penn & Teller’s Shithead Basketball”

the last six weeks or so of m's baseball has been some of the most fun baseball i've seen in my life

Louis Varland

this is why the whole world, the whole thing and not just the united states, canada, japan, south korea, and a few countries in the caribbean and south america call baseball "the beautiful game"

he's still got it

working on stuff

asking such a whimsical creature as myself to file my taxes is flatly evil

I can’t compete with this

Only a handful of Wisconsin farmers between being the most powerful person in the world and telling a bunch of Queensland retirees that negative gearing is terrific

“American Cartoons don’t show beautifully animated food and slice of life cozy comforts the way Ghibli films do” Oh yeh?? Then explain THIS.

new video youtu.be/teqkK0RLNkI?...

i am not interested in sex i simply desire someone to assist me in carrying out my Experiments

I have a colony of lepers making rifles for me. If they help me kill the forest spirit, they get the hill!