Nicolas Dream, PhD

Descartes: I have it! I think; Therefore I am. Descartes's Dad: Thank god... I was starting to worry that boy wasn't is

(finding out two people I mildly appreciate are aware of each other) Not the goats linking

It's cute how he calls it the "Trump/Vance administration"

Ah - James Bond. Women want to be with him, men want to BE him. (pushing finger against in-ear transmitter) Hold on a second, I'm just getting word -- Actually, Men want a quadruple bacon cheeseburger and a six pack of beer!

(dapping you up) Yo wassup bro, body lookin nice (a little unclear on the lingo) Is it Tea..?

Went to a Nihilism conference once and all the presenters were just smoking cigarettes on stage in silence

(attempting a Peter Griffin impression for a girl) Holy crap Lois, (already losing it completely) What on God's green earth was that?

I can't believe she deleted her response... Nobody is gonna believe me now 😭

Sydney Sweeney I Hereby Forgive You For Participating In Gambling Ads On Account Of You Are a Product Of Your Environment

describing hot and sour soup as a dish "within the Chinese idiom"

Trump on Jon Husted: "I examined his ass"

Other Mommy/Digger double feature has the power to heal the country

Anton Chigurh: *places cattle gun to my forehead and blasts the bolt through my skull* Me: Thank you. I've been meaning to do that

Korean ghosts don't even ask to use your vape anymore, they just stare at you like this

5'6" roommate: cheesed to meet you! 5'9" roommate: (slightly deeper) cheddar to make your acquaintance 6'0" roommate: (deepest yet) good brievening

(ominous chuckle) I'll have you know you're talking to the most updooted user in r/gentlemanboners history

When movie trailers pull a tweet from some random ass account to show on the screen. That should be fully illegal

for halloween i told everyone at my job "i drank a potion and now i don't feel so good" and i've been changing my slack profile picture every few days along with my display name accordingly to stuff like "potion update- still not feeling so good"

Leonard Bernstein (smoking cig at piano in black turtleneck): Beethoven, he never could write a fugue. He tried all his life to write a good fugue and never did it. Me: Fuck you Leonard Bernstein.... Fuck you !!

Listening to music made by toxic abusers >>>>

This the type of guy to bring Floam to school and you ask him where he got Floam and he just says "A commercial". Then later the bullies find him and make him take a bite of Floam

(Rolling up on my giant motorcycle billowing black smoke and as I take off my helmet my head is 45% smaller than everyone thought it would be) Whatsup guys

Once you have a child you should stop saying Fuck.... think of the example you are setting.

Watching The Ring (2002). White people would watch the video tape that kills you

(stripper loves me voice) Bro, I think the waitress is obsessed with feeding me

loser of our fantasy baseball league has to watch "Digger" in theaters

"Can you believe they can 3D print meat now?" Oh U mean like women do when they give birth..? #showerthought #feminism #MaleFeministsWhoShower

a little late here but I owned this guy.

Haven't been reposting many other people's content on here recently. THis is because I'm a self-absorbed person who is bad

Always flabbergasted at the number of weird guys' houses John Wilson can weasel his way into. A generational talent

Long ago I finished Naked Lunch and read that Burroughs considered it, first and foremost, a commentary on the depravity of capital punishment. Something very moving about this to me, and although I was already against it, the novel shut the door forever on entertaining any argument to the contrary

m.youtube.com/watch?v=YO_C... An early YouTube favorite of mine

Lol. Thomas discovers Penderecki

Life pro tip: If "adulting" is proving to be too hard, try drinking alcohol during and throughout the day

5'6" roommate got caught in the glue trap while getting a midnight snack woke up to him squeaking in agony

Sorry to your mom but i'm different 😭😭 [Learning your mom is dead] Oh shit lmao. I'm Extremely different