Sam Ebbets

Trump claims bump after pumping slumping schlump's plum rump

there is a kind of collective suicidal exhaustion in the 70+ crowd as though the unspoken wish is to beat the end of civilization by being entombed alive with their family and possessions to all die together, the friction of living finally at an end, suburban pharoahood culminated

all trump had to do is sit back and relax and pretend like the recovery he inherited from biden was all his doing. instead he did tariffs and war and like reagan and bush before him, he fucked over the economy. it is the republican way.

The White Lotus over the Leftovers this is my joker origin story

I like Ed Sheeran being like "I never spoke about politics. Because my music is about unity, not division" and then the music is like "la la la la I want to touch your body wow. sexy crazy body wow"

every single republican president of my lifetime has started a war in the middle east and destroyed the economy

And now to let all of my Irish opening acts know that I have done the right thing, side with a violent and repressive colonialist project.

Pretending the days after Sept. 11, 2001 were some kind of gauzy Hallmark special when we came together as a country is nauseating and ahistorical. The country went completely insane and has not recovered

this is all so fucking instructive if they would take a step back and learn something. you cannot let this happen ever again. when you are weak and crumbling, you cannot revive your prospects by painting everything gold and declaring a victorious golden age. it makes it look even weaker and rotted

#BlocktheMerger

It's important to separate the art from the artist, with the disturbing news about Jared Leto. We can still appreciate all his great performances in motion pictures which weren't shitty and annoying and made you want to yell Get Out Of The Movie. And of course his awesome rock music.

watching The Beautiful Game (wind waker hd)

Woke 2 has begun

a parable against hardening your heart to suffering

I spoke to Lindsey Graham for 20 minutes today. He sounds active, wandering the untrod path, and wearing the chains he forged in life. He says the eternity of lonely darkness ahead doesn’t trouble him, because his folly blazes clear and the grim reminder will walk beside him always. Still sharp!

Lindsay Graham was not just one of politics’ greatest worms, he was one of AMERICA’s greatest worms. Now he is in worm heaven, playing with that that great worm rock n roll band. Goodbye forever, monumental worm, you believed in nothing and it all worked out!

can’t believe a narcissist is being so publicly humiliated by a reflecting pool

what’s happening tonight in NY is how we win the infrastructure is there, you don’t have to build it from scratch, it’s called the Democratic Party you just need to go and wrest the controls from the people who aren’t serious about doing what needs to be done, and as tonight shows, that’s doable

this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to show up in full combat gear on a hot summer day to the pool he filled with algae because he gave a paint job to one of his cigar puffing cronies. you are ordered to stop tourists from touching the green water. good luck soldier

When people read about this era in 200 years they're going to be convinced most of it was an allegory and not real

undeniably good optics: signing a war treaty in Versailles

They're calling it the Trump Curse folks and people are saying it brings blight to the land. "Blight," that old fashioned word you don't hear much any more.

Congrats to my son Don (?) and his wife probably on their wedding or similar event, such as birthday party. I cannot attend, since there's a quarterback who still thinks I'm fine to be around in public. Best of luck to Eric or whatever kid I said a minute ago and his new Wife 2 or maybe 3.

when I say things like “this is downstream of Dems not believing in anything” people jump into my replies and say Dems believe in abortion, fighting racism, and LGBT rights, and the answer to that is: not according to the scoreboard

are they like, selecting for people who lack any and all on-screen charisma?

[putting my ER bill, expensive groceries and $5/gallon gas on a 35% APR credit card] I think we can all agree I'm doing well financially

is there any better metaphor for the democratic party than an old man on his deathbed trying to impede progress

when Alex Jones discovers "The Trial" it is going to be the funniest day in a very long time

even our best retail politicians don't have adequate language for defending the idea of "we are going to recapture a material portion of the economic output of our nation's people and turn it into roads and electricity and retirement security and health care for those same people, who are, btw, us"

"for unknown reasons, my mortal enemies appear to be concerned with the core essence of humanity in a way that my allies are not. oh well, better not think about it too hard."

it remains unclear to me what "price gouging" or "profiteering" means from people who believe in unregulated capitalism

at some point conservatives should have to do something that makes the world better if they want to keep winning elections

this is, definitionally, an emergency of the highest order. you'd be hard pressed to see anyone in authority acting like it. this, definitionally, cannot stand. this, definitionally, cannot happen. that it is, unimpeded, is incontrovertible evidence that our system is broken beyond repair

The 30 Rockification of real life is nearing completion

American religiosity has been in decline for some time, but the way some performatively religious people have accepted Trump will accelerate that decline significantly. It’s a mortal wound to the credibility of American evangelism.

when we're all unable to connect to use the internet, send emails, pay our bills, use our toasters, and god knows what else if AWS goes down, i want you to know now that i blame our lack of antitrust laws far more than i'll blame a foreign missile

I was blindsided by the news this morning that my husband of 35 years is a big breasted bimbo.

oh my god is it a calf, please tell me its a calf