I have to explain my jokes

Had to get past CAPTCHA to read that Guardian article.

QTV's - Fiddlesticks

Bluesky has Thor kinds of users

FREDS

Bluesky has fifteen kinds of users.

Video game mashups: Donkey Pong.

Just seen that British Pork are doing tv ads again. It’s all modern and fresh and versatile. But a bit of me - actually, every single cell of me - wishes they leant in a bit to the 80s original flawed classic. (As a slogan “Got what it takes” is better than “mmywaah” or whatever)!

It seems that due to an administrative error, Man Utd have been playing in a coma, and not in Como as previously advertised. We apologise for the mix-up.

Miranda is such fun on the Traitors. And I forgot just how funny her sitcom is. Looks like BBC3 is going all out on showing it and NOW Hyperdrive too!

Elon flips a car upside down and everyone claps and cheers. But when I do it, suddenly I'm "recklessly endangering other motorists" and "unfit to be a driver".

My finest ever work. I wrote it on a treadmill in a gym, recording each title, as I thought of them, into the notes app.

Geoffrey (and Rod Jane and the other one) love to stroke things. youtu.be/xCx1AKg_TP8?...

Ford Prefect

“Hope it’s chips, it’s chips”

A good friend of mine has started a petition to have record shops move T’Pau records from the T section to the P section c.org/mLvKyNRbhs

I don’t like my trainers. The Converse of that is that I do like my trainers.

No tittering at the Dutch potatoes.

RIP George Fenton, forget the prestigous movie themes and Oscar nominations. You gave us moody guitar noodling and accordians as our sunday evening soundtrack. youtu.be/1y5E63jGT2I?...

Sir Bufton Tufton Jean-Paul Satre Zippy. Bungle. Jeffrey Archer. youtu.be/l3F2z4UPwQI?...

Dying from the Russian plague is very much like making love to a beautiful woman…

Well, fancy that www.bbc.co.uk/schedules/p0...

BlueSky /Twitter

Do you want to hear an extended version of the chilled-out, stripped down version of the GMTV theme? No? Well, it’s here anyway. GMTV Newshour studio recording from June 1994, courtesy ITV Archive at LOLA Clips. Odd to see the titles without the Day Today style music. lolaclips.com/footage-arch...

In Iceland, Noel Edmonds and Adrian Edmondson *are* in fact related.

Neil Tennant and David Tennant. (Sort of related via RTD)

The tuition fees are £9,000 a year but you get a free 2:1.

BlueSky / Twitter

Anglia’s pitch: Peter Fenn plays the theme using his large organ. Nicholas Parsons stars as the Doctor, but writes his own scripts. John Benson narrates. The lovely Michelle from Gambit as companion. Ro(n)ald Dahl as showrunner. Spinning knight instead of a spinning Tardis. Forever set in 1950s.

Channel Doctor Who, starring Major Benest and ‘Puffin’ off of ‘Puffin’s Pla(i)ce’. They even work through industrial disputes.

It's a shame Southern didn't get it. You'd be guaranteed at least four boat-based adventures every season and a climactic confrontation on top of the giant fibreglass Saturday Banana.

Border Television is bidding for the Doctor Who gig. Ian Krankie as the Doctor, with Jimmy as the sweet-natured sidekick. Charlie Cairoli as the Master. Lots of wonderful vistas of the lakes, Keswick and Border Television's car park.

Just in: Bad Wolf have been outbid by CarLTon. More news at 10am. www.bbc.co.uk/commissionin...

Watching Great North Run on the telly. Everytime Steve Cram mentions Talbi though…

“What do you mean, you don’t like like lettuce?” “Just cos” #SaladJoke

Prison?

So sad to hear Richard O'Sullivan's gone. Man About The House is ace obviously, but Dick Turpin is just about the most fun you can have with a TV series that I can think of. He was great.

Incredibly important extra angle from Carole Cadwalladr. Yes, I think we can feel like all our birthdays came at once this evening. Thanks to The Nerve crew and Byline Times who've been working on this for a long time, and Verbatim Investigations who've caught despicables happily criminalling away.

At what point does a British by-election get awarded to the silver medalist, à la Ben Johnson and Carl Lewis? Asking for a friend of a friend, i.e. me. #Clacton