Jake

He should come up with an idea for an even more daring crossover between himself and sucking less

when the the regular monks find out about the trappist ones

RIP, Walter Koenig.

Well well well, looks like Kevin Roose needs critics after all when it comes time to shill his fucking book. I don't understand, why can't I just ask Claude about how bad his writing is?

RIP to this man. This is a really powerful 62 seconds of video.

The way you can prove that Facebook actively interfered in the election is that their actions failed spectacularly

In a fifteen year old cycle of reflexively gasping "Jesus Christ" whenever I hear something about Marissa Meyer

thinking fondly again of the college girl at the donut place, who made a little muslim boy bounce giddily out the door after she told him his donut was free, and who waved me away and said "you're good" when it was my turn to pay and then, when asked if there was a deal that day said "i hate my job"

Terrible officiating all game and then a truly ballsy and correct offside call #ncfc

Uhhh, so in like, summer 2022 I went to a Chinese restaurant in Chicago and me and all of my friends got fortune cookies that had ads for FTX in them. This was like... 4 months before FTX collapsed?

Missed opportunity to not have this be Kyle Reese explaining it from The Terminator (1984)

Rude. I have a name

I just heard an ad for the Admiral Theater on the Bears postgame show on The Score instead of the typical Kalshi ads. Nature is healing.

Oh my god

- Don't you want to hear my last words? - I just did, Charlie Brown

"I don't lose," says noted loser who lost the ability to hold mayorship of Chicago by being a giant fucking loser

"They didn't virtue signal they simply [did good things in an attempt to bring attention to the plight of others and foment a change in society for the better]" There are no words that provide faster evidence that you should treat the speaker with the utmost contempt than "virtue signal".

He's gotta be the single person that the most countries have a plan to..... *cough*, right?

☹️ Yeah, I know

me: ok, so a “twitch streamer” is… my stepfather: shut the fuck up shut the fuck up and get away from me

holy smokes, conan strikes up a chat with a random lady on the subway and she immediately starts riffing on his level, no problem.

At long last, we have created a way for you to take away Nikki's free will, from the classic horror movie "don't take away Nikki's free will"

🎶Bears, Hawks, Sox, Bulls🎶

This is indistinguishable from a Stephen king villain. Big fish in a small town that would rather everyone die than admit they were wrong

RIP to this angel

Strong thread.

Haha this guy doesn't even know about the three seashells

“The internet is a store but it used to be a library” hits me like a slug to the chest

ME: Dr. John plays the piano on “Cop Shoot Cop” by Spiritualized. That’s crazy MY THERAPIST: (Furiously scribbling something on notepad) That’s crazy

Damn. It's wild how all of those automated tripwires that are never deliberate have never made the world better. Facebook never "accidentally" fomented a utopia, but they sure as shit have a few genocides to their name

I did the wordle at a restaurant last week and when I got it right I heard a young kid behind me say "he got it!" And then he and his buddy cracked up

An unironic bitch eating crackers post in the football hashtag today made me laugh out loud

Oh i tell you what id do peter man And it starts with 50

Oh hey. I wonder if this means Stanley Tucci is going to wind up blurbing and promoting her eventual reputation-washing book, too

Say what you will about Cecil Rhodes, but diamonds are fucking rad

Here's to Ronnie Belliard

Ding dong, pookie, ding dong