Douglas Dollars

As (too) many have heard, I had concerns that there was no modern magician pipeline.

several people have replied saying they miss being bored. ok? put your phone down and go sit in an empty room. what are you talking about

“The internet is a store but it used to be a library” hits me like a slug to the chest

@jevbot.bsky.social What’s your position on updog?

I had a feeling and I knew it’d pay off. Apologies if you’ve never seen a man stunt so hard before.

Whomever decided to start drinking animal milk in 6500 BC must have been a wild dude. Like, “hey, you’re not my mother, and you’re an animal, but can I get a lil’ taste?” Absolute freak behavior.

I’m putting the Ninja Creami in my Last Will & Testament. And it gets everything.

Wow, they sure glossed over this pretty key event in Oppenheimer

Emailing the Montreal office to ask what model the espresso grinder is.

I reiterate my multi-year concern that if toilets are ever able to communicate, there is absolutely nothing we can say to make up for the endless atrocities we have inflicted upon them. We will finally be forced to deal with our casual abuses of their very existence and inability to run.

✅ Unlicensed pilot. Love to slowly accumulate skills and credentials.

Officiating the wedding of two dear friends in a week and I'm calling my shots in the Google Doc for the speech / vows / ring exchange.

These guys sold me on old cheese from a Washington university, I trust ‘em. Also, statistically I’ve never contributed to a campaign that has not won, so here we go.

Today I'm saying "Dynamic Disjunctive Faceting" which is fancy speak for "When you click on one filter, another one updates"

stayed up too late inventing Peanut Butter 1.5. Going to be tired tomorrow but it was worth it

folks blaming google for "capitulating" on this don't understand that there are 195 countries on the planet & G shows different labels for geographical features to *everyone* depending on their language & country. why would they make a special exception for the US just because we voted in a dumbass

27 index cards on the desk before 10:45am. Lookin' like the damn notebook from Se7en up in here.

three hundred and thirty million books

it's possible to live a life where everyone grieves its end

I made a great new recipe called two glasses of wine on your porch, lying down in the dappled shade of a warm afternoon

tech has gotten so good that people assume the funny robotics competition fires are ai fakes

Me finishing up sixteen spreadsheets that I started at 2pm

"Can your elder relative tell you about someone from another culture without imitating their accent" Challenge

AI will win against humans because they live without our innate human nature of needing to organize data, align stakeholders, and increase shareholder value.

Don't forget: I believe in you

the theory of relativity works in ways you wouldn't expect. for example if you eat Combos at high velocity (in a car trip) they will energize you, but if you eat them at zero velocity (at home) they will drain your life essence

4:49pm on a Friday. Finally done today's eight meetings and six impromptu "quick chats" and can finally start work!

Siri, what's the emoji for “no shit, idiot”?

Amazing. I think I just got this. What a time to be alive

More cops have been arrested for using flock cameras to stalk women than there are transgender athletes in youth sports.