BlobStarrrr

Ghosting people during spooky season is an appropriate form of celebration

Sure, I went to work, but the elevator doors opened into the rustling pages of an enormous book into whose darkness I was compelled to disappear.

Well Bluesky, we sure had lots of fun tonight, but remember: there's nothing funny how aliens haven't blown us up yet because they're kinda into the Shrek franchise.

Thoughts turned dark overnight, but that’s what lamps and sunlight are for.

All my “best” stories are just personal tragedies embellished with a laugh and a smile.

I walked into this insult and i can’t for the life of me, remember why.

Another JT action shot. I think he’s happy 😊

Beware of the tamed parts that distribute pamphlets to the wild.

Window treatment above my sink

Bringing all the skeletons out of the closet to decorate with flair

Them: MAN OVERBOARD!!! Me: *in the water No, no, just keep going.

Sometimes I worry that laying down in my free time isn’t a hobby

Most arrangements are edible, including the ones made of eels.

Does everyone look better at closing time or do mai tais deceive me?

Idk which one is rock bottom, a sleeping injury or a sitting too much injury

I have the kitchen pantry of a grandmother raised during the great depression *flirting*

Of all the senses, adventure is my favorite

*knocks on door* Me: Hi, do you have a minute to talk about our lord and savior, Dom DeLuise?

It's pronounced Farquharsteen

one of the perks of being a shadow demon is getting to set your own schedule

all my posts should be read in customer service voice

Where do you go when you get lost?

The stressors that fell behind the dresser.

But babe what’s a para-dig-uhm shift?

It’s too easy to waste entire days trying to avoid thinking of the ruined gods sunk beneath the seas.

Remember, a T-Rex costume is not just for Halloween. It's for doctor's visits, staff meetings, bowling alleys, jury duty, church

roll into the couples skate with a pastrami on rye

I might have fudged those numbers a bit and by might have I mean if you want to see those numbers you'll need to eat some delicious chocolate first before you're disappointed by what's beneath it.

sons of bibliography