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When I was a kid I thought Martha's vineyard belonged to Martha Stewart

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Same - I also thought it was just like… some massive vineyard and surrounding land she owned that touched enough neighbors it became a landmark.

I thought air conditioner and hair conditioner were the same thing and when people said they were turning the air conditioner on, it meant they were activating the stuff they put in their hair that morning somehow. So confusing.

I thought this until I was like 34. No real reason to question my assumptions probably until the story about Alan Dershowitz getting clowned on by his neighbors at the farmer's market.