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you better believe it lmfao

I'll send my neighbors your way so they will leave me the hell alone, ok?

If that is what is needed I will take it but... I won't be happy about it.

Oh for God's sake let's just blow up a volcano and set all the Thetans free. It's the Age of Madness... 😩

📌

Also related to my theory that Dan Quayle received a prophecy as a child he would save the Republic one day. So he got a law degree, went into politics, ended up as Reagan's VP... and it never happened. Until it turns out the one person Mike Pence called for advice? Indiana bro Dan Quayle.

That ship sailed in 2012 We voted for the dumbest possible reality instead, several times in a row

Mitt Romney saving the Constitution National Treasure style, by staging a heist to steal it.

I’ll take it.

This prophecy is real but the internet collapses nuance. Mormons are not particularly pursuing a xtian nationalist agenda, that's evangelicals. Also, all this is described in Revelations, norse myth, many non-western myths. We are witnessing an apocalypse, that's a religious event

I like exploiting wedges.

Nah, they missed their chance

I for one welcome our magic underwear clad overlords.

We’re prepared to settle for so much less, just so we can stop feeling frightened. But it doesn’t work that way. When we feed the monsters they grow, become more fearsome. Let’s ask for more justice, more equality, more inclusion…

Doesn’t Mormon hell include dancing Starbucks coffee cups? As in the musical “The Book of Mormon”.

So...you're saying Mormons at CIA are going to bring white horse (heroin) to an Elon "executive session" with his team and thereby save the Constitution? Ok, fine, sounds good.

Maybe it'll just manifest as Blutah?

So the Mormons will save the Constitution when no one else can? Sounds like the plot of a Tom Cruise movie....no, wait...

I love your pettiness, Sir. You’re a follow. 😉

I was thinking today about how the CIA has roughly 22,000 employees. also….how long until some wild info leaks? they all KNOW A LOT OF SECRETS.

A real let them fight class situation

Right. And like these folk were already deeply right-wing. To literally dump the entire CIA - legit a mad king moment right here.

I feel like [popcorn dot gif] would be in bad taste, given the context... and yet...

they will not

first of all that's a very low bar, but some of it is great, lots of surrealist and experimental writers have been Mormon and/or became internationally beloved Fantasy content machine Brandon Sanderson

not really when it comes to misogyny they make trump look amateur

People around to help when you need it, a massive food pantry, probably married to a dentist or a doctor so not a lot of need to work… I’m too old to have children but I’d sure take care of them. My perspective has changed. I used to loath glitter, at 53 I think it’s cute, reminds me a child had fun

Is it why they are so heavily Mormon?

Maybe not directly because of but I’m sure it helped show how Mormons are basically bred to be unquestioning credulous foot soldiers of power

As my professor who worked in intelligence for over a decade once told me “You can’t swing a dead cat in the CIA and not hit a Mormon!”

This makes sense to me. What could be safer than a straight laced person that doesn’t even drink caffeine.

coincidentally?

the dad of a neighbor kid where we grew up was an FBI agent. When the mom recently died and we attended her funeral, it was revealed that she had worked for the CIA in her 20s and 30s. I wish I could the dad about this topic but way too awkward

I'm sorry what now?

This is lowkey hilarious to me. There is a very secure Marriott conspicuously located in NoVA. I can’t bring myself to say more, but it is… popular with certain government organizations.

Multi level marketing schemes, but same dif

one of my favourite cameos of all time. Villains are best when they're not obviously coded as such but when you realize it then it makes sense

Senator Curtis too

And State! A good number of staties I met in Shanghai and Beijing avoided coffee and Coca Cola

Yes!

Are they? I knew the Airforce was. The more you know, I guess.

bsky.app/profile/kuma...

I don't think i care who does it at this point. Minimize the damage.

They're going to cover a PlayStation controller with TB...

look I'm ngl this would be extremely morbidly fascinating

Is Evan McMullin the white horse?

Lololol

youtu.be/mlYJf6CJXV8

I will trade one Trump for any two Romneys, dealer's choice, and a ban on caffeinated sodas in government buildings. If you get it done by summer I'm willing to throw in a tabernacle in the parking lot of Zion... the National Park, not Jerusalem, you kooks.

I'm imagining Mitt Romney right now:

Seriously how many times are we going to have to save that thing?

You may be interested in this... youtu.be/n9kpeHgscU4?...

only Mitt can save us

Mormon Bluesky almost as fun as Black Twitter. Who knew?

🤢🤮🤢

What exactly is the prophecy ?

bsky.app/profile/lowr...

The CIA has my clearance to operate in the United States if it can call in a few wet boys

Honestly, I would take it at this point

oh god

Does this make Trump the Second Beast?

Full Metal Mittens

Y'all are making me snortlaugh and it is way too early But it beats the daily arrival of the klong So thanks

Truly strange bedfellows in today's reality. I never thought I'd find myself rooting for an LDS church-driven theocracy, but ehh... if they get the job done.

Rome fell for less

Ahahaha yes I’ve read that a few times

🍿 someone has to start fighting these fascists... PLZ‼️

Looks like I’m headed to Colorado

This quote is sending me. Like WHAT THE FUCK.

Elder Romney has refused the call but fortunately there are others

Upon a thread at least fits!

Jacob’s Ladder was non fiction

Mitt Romney save me Mitt Romney Save me Mitt Romney

How can the church save the constitution when they are the ones responsible for the danger in the first place.

Very interesting. I learned something new today (that didn’t make my blood pressure rise).

Mike Lee will see to it that Utah's energies are pledged to Mammon.

There was a Jan 6 idiot dressed up as this! He was cosplaying as the angel Moroni in the Benjamin West painting while taking part in the insurrection at the Capitol.

I have it on good authority that if you want to ride, don’t ride the white horse. 🎶

The country will worship Horny Ol’ Joe with 7 wives under 18. Yeah, no.

Romney was supposed to be the guy that was about.

Donny Jr doing heckin’ rails off the B of M

WHAT

I had forgotten about this… 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

The time is now for the Mormon uprising

Thanks, I hate it

I don't believe any of this stuff anymore, but like. The framework fits.

yeah, that fits him

He's gone down one too many rabbit holes?

We truly have become an unserious nation.

So that would make the Red Horse…. Conservatives (Red) who side with the Democrats (the Donkey may as well be a “Horse”) in fighting back against the assault on the constitution?

It's true tho... I know very few Mormons, but the ones I do know are positively giddy at the pace of current events, because they were always ready for this shit, just like evangelicals, but didn't think they would "get to be the ones to live the prophecy" Just fucking ecstatic. 😳

see, I thought the red horse was war, and the white horse was specifically pestilence, while the "pale" horse (not white) was death. so to me a white horse prophecy would be like "covid-19 and bird flu combine to create a supervirus that somehow only takes out the executive branch"