a real, authentic person 🌯

average journalist: NYC mayor plays ”basketball” [gives you the most racist look you’ve ever seen]

This is wrong. sorry!

doing the famous bit “Old Bill Maher” It’s like you pretend to be Bill Maher, but old and almost impressively out of touch

A documentary is supposed to carefully present both sides. Like how Ted Bundy documentaries explain how the victims could have deserved it

glad we all learned to code lol

Breaking scrolling is pretty good

You’re doing a lot when you could just make some cash on depop

Recurring dream where I’m trying to get Lil Wayne set up on a telnet client

my hat has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my hat

Oh yeah. I saw it too. It was crazy how much of it there was. - Guy lying about seeing You Can See Everything

HAN SOLO: Hell, I never would have flown a spaceship if it wasn't for the daring exploits of Ben Quadinaros, famed podracer... He inspired all of us kids back on Corellia. LEIA (NODDING): Yes, I also know and love Ben Quadinaros. The boy, Han... let's name the boy after him

Rebranding my data centers as data edges

Océans are différent, sir *audio distorts, slows down* Oceans……. Are….. difffffffereeeert, siiiiiiiiir *AIRHORN* OCEANS ARE NOW BATTLEFIELDS

Intersectionality ❌ Roundaboutability ✅

Here at The Newspaper, we think it’s important you have all the available information. That’s why every 2 weeks like clockwork we print the opinion of an actual Nazi, and you’ve never even heard what socialism is. Balance

This website has gotten a lot chuddier. congrats to the devs I guess

Where is your empathy for those who can no longer pay their property taxes due to illegal aliens?

2028 Nobel Prize in physics for outpizzaing The Hut

Sequel where we have to get the angels out of the outfield and back to work on account of how things are, but baseball is fun

why would you make mass effect 5 when you simply make gambling apps now

Neo, take the blue pill, and your deadlines will pass and your work will not be done. Take the red pill and your tasks will be completed ahead of schedule, freeing you to now perform more tasks

At the end of the day, we’re all just wealthy Americans deciding how and who to sacrifice to the money god

My opponents are committing crimes and covering up unspeakable abuse. I look forward to working with them

A hot take should be like carry out food and not what it currently is

The Foundation is funded by the profits of Wayne Enterprises. There have to be some.

You’re in fucking Michigan dude what are you even talking about

Fast food places like MEAT IS BORING try our new POTATO

“Secure the border“ you ghouls can’t even secure the protection of your own citizens against a hostile occupying force. You’re negotiating lol

“just because some Democrats disagree on the border doesn’t mean theyre bad people” Yeah it does actually it’s pretty easy. even more so it has a lot of explanatory power

Elected dems keep using right wing framing partially because it’s a top down organization primarily interested in bundling cash and so it really cares about the opinions of the wealthy and so you get a lot of right wing framing And then the other reason is they also just believe it

Why I Left The Sisyphean Office 9 To 5 For An Armed Guerrilla Conflict Against the State

A movie must never lie.

[Fallow chef dipping a Chili’s honey bbq chicken tender into some dressing] that, right there, is bangin innit

Tired: id have voted for Obama a 3rd time Wired: I’d have voted for Trump from 3rd grade