Typhoid Carrie

The Contractors on the Death Star conundrum.

“I don’t know the details” - lists details

I’m thinking…

I will repost this constantly and forever because it makes me so damn happy

I clearly do not understand how Christianity works.

Watching Ballerina at 5 in the morning and I’m not proud of my life choices- Oooh! Flamethrower fight!

Way ahead of you

You did it, Hakeem! You got one housewife in a Pennsylvania suburb to nod approvingly at your at focus tested drivel. Amazing leadership. Really meeting the moment

Seeing Curtis Yarvin tweet is like if you watch a horror movie that sets up this mysterious evil villain, and then at the end of the movie comes the grand reveal… and it’s just Alf. And you can’t help but laugh and also feel a bit let down. That’s it??

PSA: Be sure to check your Halloween candy

Just got my house rocked by that Berkeley earthquake and I wanted to run thru my house waking everyone yelling “Woo hoo! The world is ending! We don’t have to worry about our country anymore!”

”IF YOU WANT TO SEE THE COFFIN LOWERED MAKE SOME NOOOOOISE”

if they’re gonna treat this like a WWE event then someone really should’ve whacked him with a folding chair

Breaking: The @wsj.com is reporting that the comment was not made by Brian Kilmeade but by an unidentified transgender person

Democrats should introduce a bill to place a statue of a third grade class in the Capitol building. Make the GOP vote for Charlie Kirk's and against the kids.

If God really does get angry when he catches me touching myself, why does he keep watching?

None of us are getting out of here alive. Be silly, be weird, be kind.

Get to know this guy before you ever consider supporting his run for 2028 presidency.

they say it takes more muscles to frown than it takes to smile, so my mouth is motherfucking jacked

The “problem” with vaccines? They so effective at preventing deaths that they create generations of people that question whether disease was a problem in the first place because they have never experienced the horrors of a world without vaccines.

Going to start calling school shootings "late term abortions" so the government will actually rush in to do something.

🎯

It's like someone hit a donkey over the head with a mallet and made them President.

PRO TIP: Don't take moral advice from a nation that once allowed its citizens to own other human beings as property and is currently kidnapping human beings and trafficking them to foreign concentration camps to be tortured. Evil makes a rather unpersuasive scold.

🧵

Since I haven't seen anyone talking about it, I think it's useful go situate Alligator Alcatraz in the context of the LAST time the US conducted a major ethnic cleansing in the Everglades. The Seminole Wars spanned nearly fifty years, one of the signatures of Andrew Jackson's presidency.

Among other things, I'm just so pissed that a country that once made winning WWII its whole personality is now building concentration camps

Elon Musk defending Tesla Autopilot:

Uber Unscented✨

This is a nearly impossible choice but here it is- my final decision, NYT. I take this very seriously. I can’t let Gladiator win. Honorable mention to Little Women, Coco, and Revolutionary Road.

"dogs can't play basketball!"

Straight out of the Orban playbook, Trump orders California to remove gender identity from sex ed within 60 days. Authoritarianism is here. www.hastingstribune.com/ap/health/tr...

Ok a real one this time. #caturday

that’s one long mermaid

“No Kings” Houston, TX

Nice little history reminder here