Chris Allcock

After twenty-three years in the games industry I've finally lost the muscle memory built up from my schooldays. I can no longer tie a necktie on autopilot.

I swore I'd never roll back the hands. Think of what I could do with that extra hour. Last-minute lottery tickets! Scoop every story. Make all the best jokes somewhat before-- Then Old Goodie TimeWinder whispered in my my ear. "Snick, snack, roll 'em back, or whick, whack, neck goes--" *CRACK*

UK peeps! Remember to set your clocks back within the next 85 minutes so Old Goodie Timewinder doesn't get you in your sleep and drag you to the Forest of Concurrent Miseries.

If this doesn't tell my server-mates "don't go up to the scary UFO" I'm not sure anything will. #Minecraft

Because this is the thing: we've had tools to allow you rapidly prototype ideas - for years and years! From Klik 'n' Play, RPGMaker, Unity and beyond, the avenues have been there. The difference is that you threw that code away, because you KNEW it was weekend slop that couldn't be built upon.

Golly gosh, gee, I must have just dreamed all of those Game Jams where we made functional end-to-end experiences using only ... *checks* ... our learned skills and imagination. So where ARE these awesome shipped games, then? Present them, and tell us why they're awesome while you're about it.

Looking forward to international scandal next week when people realise I updated some of the rhymes...

'Betting humanity can solve this problem with their current level of understanding seems like betting that alchemists in 1100 could build a working nuclear reactor. That worked in space. On the first try.' - Phenomenal, terrifying read. Would recommend to everyone, including AI novices #AI

Why, in every office/gaming chair, is there always one of those little caps you put in to cover the armrest screws that just refuses to stay in place? It's like a pressure valve for the others.

"You'd use Comic Sans in an email and wouldn't think twice about it. I know your type."

I won't go into specifics to give people a chance to watch, but even having seen just the first episode I'm pretty sure VisionQuest is going to echo Season 3 of Star Trek Picard - from its plot, to its guest cast, to constant fanservice.

Did anyone own one of the cinnamon/orange GameCubes as their first? Obviously they exist, but I don't know anyone who joined the ecosystem by buying that variant, deliberately or otherwise.

There seems to be quite a lot to like about Belmont's Curse but I'm questioning some of the control choices, like slowing Rose down from her running speed when she jumps. She ends up stuttering her way down those long, candle-filled Castlevania corridors like a car with an engine problem.

Sod it. Just gotten really narky with the BBC. Must be middle-age.

As a licence-payer, this is not the day/year/epoch to be sending me emails that can be read in a creepy Agent Smith voice, The Beeb. Least of all with a *particular* documentary just announced. So yeah, you ARE making me wonder. (Also, this is basically spam and you have no unsubscribe option.)

YES. JESUS CHRIST YES. ITS ONLY BEEN AROUND 3 YEARS. WE DON'T NEED IT. www.techspot.com/news/114234-...

Future headline: "A single Steam user has today been accused of manipulating Achievement sets over a period of many years; numerous vocal critics have described them as 'A one guy, long-formed, lying, purple-cheevo cheater'."

Kids these days don't even know that if you missed a live TV broadcast back in the day, you had the right to challenge the BBC Director General to Trial by Combat. If you won, the BBC was legally obligated to air the episode again at 6:45pm the following Saturday. If they won, you were dead.

I am one of those lucky devs this absolute icon inspired. He taught me so much about 3D map design as I pored over his creations, and he will be sorely missed. Hidden messages on walls, now and always.

Oh no, not that Marvel/Star Wars crossover-shooter I always wanted(!) It was such a promising creative vision based on the core concept but now... it's been... ... ...I'm so tired.

Hey guys, wanna feel old? Touch something old.

Interviewer: Can you explain this gap in your resume? Proofreader: It's a Space, mate. Yourresume isn't a phrase and the red squiggly line under it really should have clued you in on that.

The most positive thing I'll be able to take away from group-watching Return to Silent Hill is that now I can enjoy @voidburger.com's essay which I've been hoarding for ages. My GOD. There's so much to discuss! None of it's good!

I set up my new PC today; it has water cooling and lots of fans, and now the background ambience of my living room is like Crew Quarters on the Enterprise-D. ...WINNING.

Day of writing! Evening of drawing. Doodling @stuartgipp.bsky.social's Merry having a calamitous time trying a merry-go-round for the first time.

This is why I don't do much to raise money. I'm afraid Tom Cruise will show up and surprise me with extreme challenges.

I've just hit the Disenchantment crossover episode of Futurama and I'm not sure me snapping "Oh, GOD!" in sheer exasperation was the emotional plateau they'd imagined building from.

However, the clog in the gears would be: "I've got good news! We have devised a way to return you to your own space and time." "Yes, sure, great, but I really want to stay HERE, please."

Larinna being promoted to the title screen means that the game is now officially canon.

Nobody: ... Me: Yeah but they could shadowdrop Worms (SNES), Worms (Mega Drive) and Worms Armageddon (N64) on Nintendo Switch Online, like tomorrow or something, and they'd have the online functionality for free. You never know! [Resumes silent contemplation]

I'm going to introduce a new holiday where the remorseless supernatural character chases you around the world on a demonic motorbike and lops your fingers off with a comb because the UI of your game is so miniscule as to be unreadable. I'll probably call him Fontzie.

An increasingly common thing I see: people assuming that very small teams, making the childhood games we loved, only had really compartmentalised roles like "manual" or "producer". Everyone needs a job title, but there was a ton of creative overlap that mostly goes unacknowledged! It got messy.

Good god, I assumed this was lost media... This taught me binary and other computer concepts when I was 5! www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-PF...

Oh, goody; we've now moved into the "A Dystopian Timeline so hilariously improbable, we get a gag where unfrozen super-cop Sylvester Stallone side-eyes this whole ridiculous advertising endeavour before deservedly smashing the screen with his fist" phase of 2026.

Just unironically used the term "snackable" to refer to a video and now I'm going to have to exile myself to the Barren Lands.

I saw this post and it suddenly reminded me of the 2000s-era emulation rush , where truly hardware-accurate code was overshadowed by quick, sloppy jobs to get games running "like what you remember", particularly in 3D. I have to hope that quality, deliberate work will ultimately win out here, too.

It's Fantasy World Dizzy, I'm afraid. Sorry, everyone. It introduced me to so many notions I hadn't encountered in video games before; from conversations with NPCs, red herrings, item persistence, metahumour, how to walk on clouds... It wasn't even the first Dizzy, but it was MY first Dizzy.

Nobody: ... Me: Fantastic Adventures of Dizzy is a technical marvel on the NES! The ability to set down and have it remember positions of basically all the objects in the game, changing time of day, smooth scrolling, Dizzy's face changing depending on the situation, dynamic music...

What if, instead of figuring out how to limit his powers for a Superman game, you just leaned fully into them and made a musou at an insane scale? Let me rip up skyscrapers and hit people with them. For gameplay pressure, add a time limit because Jimmy Olsen has fallen into quicksand, or something.