Structured Success

We need to stop seeing neurodevelopmental conditions (and mental health conditions) as character flaws. However, the response shouldn't be to frame them as gifts or superpowers. They can and do have negative impacts, but they can and do have neutral or even protective elements too at times

Executive functioning isn't one skill, it's MANY that overlap and interact with one another. Learning to cope with executive dysfunction isn't as simple as learning one skill or accommodating one developmental gap. It's repeated, constant learning and adaptation over an entire lifetime

Everyone tells themselves a story to explain their thoughts, behaviours, and emotions. Recognizing that we're neurodivergent, or being diagnosed, changes this story; it can re-frame what we thought were moral failings as expected challenges or new strengths and weaknesses

ADHD'ers tend to experience big, fast emotions that are more intense and easier to trigger than non-ADHD'ers. This also means that our emotions in response to other people's emotions can be bigger and faster too. If we aren't careful, this can make for vicious cycle that escalates conflict

Social norms can be so hard for autistic folks. We know social norms exist, and we try to make rules based on our understanding of them. But they often feel like moving targets, like a complex, changing puzzle we need to constantly figure out

The stories we tell ourselves to explain our thoughts, feelings, and actions are often more important than labels and diagnoses, I feel. If our stories disempower us or frame our struggles as moral failings, this can have major implications for our mental health and self-esteem

As neurodivergent people, our first mission is to stop seeing ourselves as failed neurotypicals. Neurotypical standards are so ubiquitous that most neurodivergent people have internalized them to some extent. Measuring our success against these standards dooms to failure

Being stressed, in pain, or emotional can make anyone emotionally vulnerable. For ADHD'ers, this is on top of our executive dysfunction, intense emotions, and rejection sensitivity. Sure, checking ourselves and emotionally regulating early and often helps, but it sure is exhausting

Awesome ideas! To add one of my own: for those of us who enjoy the shower experience but struggle with time blindness, get a waterproof digital clock with a countdown timer!

The shower can be such an overwhelming place for folks with sensory issues, such as autistic folks. Remember! You're allowed to make it a better sensory experience. You can add music, incense, or galaxy projector. You're allowed to turn off the lights, reduce water pressure, or use a shower chair

If you only do everything you "should" do, you will never have time for anything else… and you probably won't even finish everything you "should" do. It's just not possible. So why feel guilty for not finishing all of the things you (and others) tell yourself you should do?

A big mindset change that’s helped me: accepting that I can change strategies! Accepting that a thing that used to work no longer works, bc something in my life changed! (This was a huge revelation! it feels so simple now in hindsight!)

And that's the kicker! Executive function supports aren't just for neurodivergent folks, either. They are for everyone! They help everyone! I'm so glad that y'all have found a system that helps keep goals visible, rewarding, and fun :) This is the best

It's not childish to adapt child-focused ADHD strategies to work for you as an adult. Visual schedules, sticker charts, token economies, and other strategies get talked about as if they are only for kids, when they could help so many adults as well

Autistic folks: Very few people actually care if you wear the same thing every day. Buy the 5 copies of the correct jeans. Get the comfortable shirt in every color. You got this.

Hello boss...? I can't make it in today. The brain weasels won today and I am entirely at their mercy. ...please send help.

In neurodivergent households people often have very different needs and struggles. Sometimes one person's needs can end up getting so much of the attention that other people's needs are left unmet. This can have long-term, lasting impacts on functioning

Managing ADHD successfully isn't about being or acting like a neurotypical. Successful ADHD management is about accepting that we work differently, using our different strengths and weaknesses, and making progress towards our goals and living up to our values

A lot of autistic people make internal rules to help reduce changing expectations and add predictability to unpredictable situations. Unfortunately, sometimes those internals rules can outlast their usefulness, and make us feel weird doing things we are very much allowed to do

It's mindblowing how good my ADHD brain is at remembering that I forgot something, but NOT WHAT I ACTUALLY FORGOT. WHAT!?!

Everyone likes to feel like their actions impact the world around them. Unfortunately, this can lead us to misattribute external factors beyond our control as direct consequences of our actions. This misattribution is fundamental to some experiences of OCD

It's so weird how we moralize other people's behaviour, even when it's not harmful to anyone. People are lazy when they prioritize rest. People are careless because the don't prioritize the things we expect them to. It feels like we're talking about something else entirely, doesn't it?

We need to plan for the life we have first, before planning for the one we want. We aren't going to wake up a different person tomorrow, so if you regularly need extra sleep, plan that in. If it needs to feel urgent to get out the door, set the remind 5 minutes before not an hour

My ADHD brain moves FAST, and that means that I can easily crowd people out of conversations if I'm not careful. To prevent this, I have to be super intentional about letting other people respond before I speak again, ESPECIALLY when I'm interested, passionate, or emotional

Me: I've been wanting to do this for ages. Can I please just do it? Just a little bit? My executive function: No do. Only guilt.

Being autistic changes how we communicate, how we solve problems, and how we navigate daily life. Learning that we are autistic, or being diagnosed, often changes all of this over again as we develop a better understanding of ourselves and how our brain works

Them: The rules are the rules… My autistic ass, making notes: *nods* Them: …unless they're more of a guideline… Me: *nodding slows* Them: …or everyone knows that it's not ACTUALLY a rule Me: wait… WHAT!?!?

Wild take. Taking care of yourself is better than not taking care of yourself. There are plenty of times we think "it'd be better if I did it in the morning" or "it'd be better if I did it when I…" STOP! Taking care of yourself now is better than putting it off for some idea of perfect self-care

If you ask me, the hardest part of accommodating the way your neurodivergent brain works isn't finding the strategies or tools. It's learning to accept that you need the strategies or tools and that it doesn't change your value as a person

It's almost never only one person who has ADHD in a family. When one person is diagnosed, it's SO common for parents and siblings to also figure out that their ADHD too. This is the power of knowing what ADHD actually looks like… and, well, genetics

Psst. There is no rule that you have to do self-care in a specific way. If it helps you, do it. Yes, even if that means drinking coffee because you can't get yourself to drink water. Yes, even if you brush your teeth at 2pm rather than in the morning

Welcome to ADHD club. The first rule of ADHD club is store things where you're going use them~! ...did you think I was going to say something else?

A lot of ADHD'ers process information verbally. It can be a super effective strategy, but it also a vulnerable state because our thoughts are still forming and changing. Choosing when, where, and with whom it's safe to be this vulnerable is key to it's success

Neurodivergent success can't be only be measured by neurotypical standards

Nothing convinces me that my brain is ACTUALLY different than other people faster than when people say: "Just make an L with your hands. The one that's an L is your left." frfr, my brain sees those as the exact same. My brain immediately says both are 'L' no matter how your rotate or flip it

Anything worth doing is worth half-assing. I promise. Seriously, if doing something perfectly is going to improve your life or functioning, half-assing it is still going to improve your life or functioning 9 times out of 10

For ADHD'ers, it can feel super urgent to say what's on our mind. We worry we'll forget it if we don't. We feel like we're holding back a torrent of thoughts, associations, and feelings. While this can be true, it can also be unsustainable, overwhelming, or dysregulating