Paul Sims

An absolutely exquisite experience is getting pulled over in the freeway carpool lane, only to hit the trooper with the SURPRISE 3-YEAR-OLD

Star Wars Galactic Racer combines my two favourite elements of racing games: crashing into things and losing

ME, NOT LISTENING: Sounds good!

@alexwinter.com I saw Denise on your side and Charlie across the aisle. Can you feel any tension in the air? Are things awkward?

The world is broken but the dik-dik is perfect

I think I think i might have a bodyguard

lol hell yeah dude

Don’t stick these q-tips in your ears. Yeah they fit in there perfect. Yeah yeah it feels amazing. Don’t do it though

fuck webp. all my homies hate webp

anyone else smell toast

FIFA is short for Final Fantasy

In my day the Backrooms brought hope not stress

Sometimes I think about all the Stormtroopers the ewoks ate.

*sigh*

Americans when they hear Europeans don't have air conditioning

I guess it's illegal to have a sweet ass now

Cast of Laocoön and his Sons (Roman version of a lost Greek original), 100BC-50AD

Oh this is interesting. In a Japanese fan magazine from 1993, Nintendo confirmed Yoshi throws big white turds instead of eggs. The chalky color comes from a calcium supplement he takes because he is dying.

the “boxcar” children, but they live in a Nissan Cube

if you cooked and ate Grogu would your body absorb his midichlorians or would he just be delicious

at ellis island he changed his name from groguwitz

I DID NOT KNOW HE WAS A BUSINESSMAN

i think if i saw baby yoda i would eat it

Stop asking

Grogu got in the trash and ate some chocolate and he died

It’s inaccurate to say Mario is brave and Luigi is cowardly Luigi is afraid of death, so he runs away from danger. Mario is afraid of living, so he runs towards death. Both brothers are cowards in their own way

The worst thing about aging is that I’m the only one it’s happening to. It’s not fair.

In my twenties the ladies called me Boy Wonder cause I'd always say "boy, I wonder what my ex-girlfriend is up to"

millennials will never understand the delicious taste of lead

the realest part of The Metamorphosis is how on top of everything he is still expected to show up at the office somehow

DID YOU KNOW? Tofu takes on the flavors of what it’s cooked with but defiantly retains its absolutely gruesome texture and also the flavors thing is a lie! NOW YOU KNOW!