Court Jester

🔥 BEN MEISELAS ERUPTS: The Cheesecake Factory faux outrage exposes the propaganda machine. They brainwash Americans into fighting each other while oligarchs steal our healthcare, send our kids to endless wars, and buy more yachts. Divide the people. Enrich the oligarchs.

That won't cut it, I need the prescription strength lasagna

If you have nothing nice to say, become a mime.

Me: I’d like a slice of pizza Server: that comes with three sides Me: I know what shape it is

I have some Ed Sheerhan tix to the Kennedy Center. Anyone want them...

#booksky #books #Kindleunlimited #thriller #suspense #romance #novels #geopolitical #mythological #darkromance #women #contemporary #fiction #fantasy #crime #amazon #sifi #readingcommunity #writingcommunity #author #readers #indie

I recently formed a new band. We call ourselves 'The Sewing Machines' but we've struggled to find a singer. 🐢💨

Well that’s okay. The U.S. still wins the World Series most years. Top two anyway. And always a contender for the Super Bowl.

"My sister told me she just baked some synonym buns . . . I replied, 'you mean just like the one's grammar used to make'?"

I collect fog. I store most of it outside along the shoreline, it's just easier to manage.

“ICE: Too scared to be soldiers, too dumb to be cops.” — Dropkick Murphys

There is so much going on in the world right now, why can't we just sit down and look at a flower...

[jamming on guitar] ME: *cranks amplifier* WIFE: It's a little late, honey ME: ok... *cranks pmplifier*

Bragging that you just passed your 3rd dementia test is a great way of telling us they've made you take 3 dementia tests

ME: *points to an ant floating in a puddle* must be male cuz it’s boy ant DATE: *flicks cigarette onto ant* now it’s flamboyant *we kiss*

ME: i would like to open a checking account BANKER: would you like a savings account too? ME: no BANKER: okay, just checking

On the move...puffin on Staple Island, Farne Islands, Northumberland #birds #puffin #puffins #farneislands #seabirds #nationaltrust #bbcearth #bbcwildlife #rspb #coastalbirds #auks

so many dead canaries and we just keep on mining

Nancy By Ernie Bushmiller August 5,1946

So I fired my bathroom scale. Next I'm gonna fire the nutritional label on a pint of ice cream.

Recently, there have been several stick-ups and one Axe murder (in the first Degree). Management has made no Secret of the need to increase security, but still haven’t found the Right Guard. Finding themselves underarmed, the crime wave continues to roll on.

I’m petrified about today’s science news. Genetically modifying crabs to have cheetah genes? This could go sideways fast.

So about that 3D printer @hollyanderson.bsky.social

People moaning about the weather at least it’s not snowing. Imagine shovelling snow in this heat.

And now to play a fun game of find my wife at Soldier Field 😅

My wife is threatening to kick me out of the house because of my obsession with acting like a news anchor. More on this after the break.

The little ink drop was crying, because his mother was in the pen and he didn't know how long the sentence would be. Thank you very much. I'll leave quietly.

ANGELA LANSBURY: *doing crossword* a group of crows ME: murder ANGELA LANSBURY: *writing* thanks

It’s-a me, Patio!

Trump is melting down over his well-earned "worst first 100 days" poll numbers, so his court jesters are going to work dancing around to distract him. Sycophants.

Even better closeup of Mr Cardinal than the last one. I love when they stand still for these. Birdcam #birds

Video ~ Baby kitten