Midlife crisis, hyperfixations, cats, watercolours. Chronic fatigue and depression / anxiety. I need a nice cup of tea and a hug. PhD student in microfluidics with the OU.
I have painted something that I’m genuinely proud of!
Whitby Abbey, from a reference on Unsplash. Watercolour on Arches Rough (grain torchon), 9” x 12”.
#watercolour#aquarelle
Without changing my opinion that nobody should be a billionaire, I do wonder what life would be like if the billionaires were all a result of menopausal rage.
The Facial Expressions of Tethys by artist Julius von Bismarck. A suspended high-sea buoy that moves in real time. Sensors on a twin buoy out in the Atlantic Ocean send live satellite data to motors inside the museum. This makes the indoor buoy copy the exact, real-time movements of the ocean waves.
Had my monthly meetup with Sister today, this time in Hitchin. It’s very odd; there’s even more Posh White Lady shops, also a lot of East Asian groceries & lunch places, a few small art collective type places, and a whole lot of empty properties.
I’m not sure I’d want to move back, but it’s better than when I was growing up, when it was 100% Tory Heartland. But then, I’m not sure where I’d move if I was going to. Cambridge is nice in the centre, but I live in the armpit of the outskirts.
I’d want somewhere within a 10 minute walk of a really good bakery and a co-op (or similar); with coverage of many Deliveroo options; a pharmacy with sensible opening hours and staff who can think; parking; and no chance in the foreseeable future of voting in a right wing mp.
It's always a great sign when an interview with a scientist starts like this:
Me: Hi there, thanks for talking to me. I'd like to ask you some questions about [thing].
Scientist: OH MY GOODNESS I LOVE [thing]!!! I could talk about [thing] for hours!!!!!
Thing is, my kitchen still isn’t finished so he’s coming back tomorrow. I don’t particularly want to be alone with him; he backed off when I said no, but kept coming back 5 mins later and asking again. Like I said, ugh.
mathematicians now feel like they have to be secretive about what they do in case it gets stolen by AI. graph theorists arent too worried about this though because they’ve already been doing discreet mathematics
Today is the sort of day where I can’t work out:
- Is it (continued) exhaustion from spending a whole afternoon in London on Friday?
- Is it stress about being thoroughly stuck with the PhD?
- Is it ongoing perimenopause stuff?
- Is it that methylphenidate works about as well as willpower?
- Is it that despite having lovely friends, I do, actually, have to manage all this myself?
- Is it that I haven’t painted anything I’m happy with (not proud of; just “yeah, that’ll do”) for about 6 months?
- Is it the constant terror that I’m going to screw up and whatever benefit ppl get from me
will no longer be worth the hassle and I won’t even know *how* I’ve screwed up because there is no textbook or flow chart for Being Human?
- Is it all of the above and more?
(It’s all of the above and more, isn’t it? Goddamn it.)
Today is the sort of day where I can’t work out:
- Is it (continued) exhaustion from spending a whole afternoon in London on Friday?
- Is it stress about being thoroughly stuck with the PhD?
- Is it ongoing perimenopause stuff?
- Is it that methylphenidate works about as well as willpower?
- Is it that Bruce Banner has ataxia and one nictating membrane stuck out, and I have to give him 3 pills and 2 ear drops every day for a week to find out whether it’s otitis or brain damage?
- Is it that this list has already taken 2 posts and I have more?
Saw @joznorris.bsky.social is Hugh Jackman is the Phantom of the Opera and yes it’s a WIP but the polished bits had me laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe (also it explained his @theacms.bsky.social set a while back). My only real feedback is that it needs more singing cos he’s got a great voice.
Trekked into London yesterday and yup, it’s still exhausting. Bus to station, train to St. Pancras, pop out for a wee & a coffee, tube to Piccadilly Circus, early meal, show, +1 drink, tube to King’s Cross, train to Cambridge, bus home. 8 hours in total. I’ve only just woken up enough to post.
no joke my friend bought Mazri's five foot tall Garfield plushie, another friend drove it cross country to him and it now resides in BC's provincial legislature
Does anybody use Roost? It looks really cute but so far I’m not managing to chat to anyone.
Invite code for me is
roostsocial.app/invite/3873K9 Join the flock on Roost! Get a free bird when you sign up with my code 3873K9
if anyone feels like entertaining me.
This is a good thread. The "this is not the right time for this" thing specifically rings true for me. Just a soul-deep "I cannot do that yet, for secret but immovable reasons".
I really really want to feel as excited as I would have been before Marvel turned Cap 3 into an Iron Man film, then completely THREW CAP’S ENTIRE CHARACTERISATION DOWN THE TOILET in Endgame (also screwing over Peggy’s entire family and Bucky while they were at it).
Ready for your Avengers Doomsday homework? Marvel has released a watchlist of 15 movies and TV shows you should watch before December 18 rolls around. https://bit.ly/3UmhwmS