Jem Turner

Ooh, we're pinning intros here? 👋 I'm a PHP dev specialising in tech SEO, performance & cybersecurity (nerrrrd). Founder of a WordPress agency. Into gaming, fitspo nonsense (running, lifting, taekwon-do) & gardening. Two kids. Liberal lefty sort. Blogging since before you were born (maybe)

Excellent 🙌

Went to tell my daughter that power is cheap in case she wants a long shower (we're on agile) only to turn her light off as I left the room to save a bit of electric 🤦‍♀️

Right, I think I've finally contacted all clients and everyone I've ever worked with that I vaguely like to let them know they're either OK, or not OK but how to make it OK. Hoping the ex client I had to pursue for ££££ earlier this year gets shafted. </petty>

What the actual fuck

Uh oh, the normies have heard about the PHP thing and are Making Comments.

Credit where it's due, not normally a fan of shiteground but I have a couple of clients with them, and they appear to have received the 8.3.36 patch pretty quickly.

Writing a post for the company blog... "we became aware of two vulnerabilities in PHP at approximately 6am whilst browsing reddit on the toilet" Might leave the last bit out.

The biggest surprise to come out of this PHP stuff today is that people are still running 5.4. Holy shitballs man.

eBay users! Don't ignore today's email, even though it looks like a boring standard update to the User Privacy Notice. They want to use your data to train AI models. If you click the link over the words "the right to object", it takes you to a page with a toggle button letting you opt out.

Looking through the attendee list of #WCMCR is an absolute joy. Seeing the names with a sense of familiarity, then clicking on their website and saying "oh flipping hell it's them!". Good folk getting back together. Anyway, less than 20 tickets to go (and not 19!) manchester.wordcamp.org/2026/

How to pay for parking.

I’ve watched this about a hundred times www.instagram.com/reel/DeCzTqG...

Heads up if you use the Google Analytics for WooCommerce plugin, an update late August changed how it reports revenue to GA4. Prior to the update revenue inc. shipping, and now it's excluded. So comparing MoM or YoY data won't be like-for-like.

Thread on Dan Boultwood's victim who waives her anomity to talk about the experience. For those who didn't see the original reporting, this is the only significant coverage. Maddie says how she's disappointed there wasn't more public introspection and conversation over this, and she's right.

"I don't approve of talking about food as naughty; we take our pleasures where we can" YES NIGELLA YOU ARE THE BAKE OFF PERSON WE NEEDED THANK YOU.

I *don’t* care how good your outreach is, how smart your agent can hook into posts i’ve written. If you email me without me asking, and especially if you keep doing that, i’ll block you out of principle and will surely never ever buy from you.

WordCamp Manchester is on it's way! We're meeting on November 6th, 2026 in Whitworth Locke Hotel in Manchester for a day of relaxed networking, learning about WordPress and collaboration. Hope you can join us! manchester.wordcamp.org/2026/

Was hoping to make it SearchNorwichXL this week but had to cancel because it clashes with my kickboxing grading. Well, the good news is, I passed my grading 🎉

Just called someone a melt on LinkedIn, so that's a nice way to end my day 👌

Well, that's certainly an interesting dark pattern I've not seen before...

Interesting take, but not sure you can call football "dry". Everyone I know who goes to football matches drinks in the pub beforehand and/or in the grounds at the bar at half time, not sure the ban realistically makes any difference. None of them are "far right football thugs" though. 🤔

Its What3Words accounts filing day! They're doing so great. Nothing to worry about. I'm sure "the launch of our advertising revenue stream" will offset the "lost major Enterprise customer". Ads are really profitable now, right? find-and-update.company-information.service.gov.uk/company/0843...

Booked tickets to pressconf.events this morning, never been before. Any of my other WP buddies going?

My reddit account is now old enough to drink. 🤯

Tesco have a competition where you can win a £10,000 tech bundle with your Clubcard. Otherwise known as 16GB of RAM.

Looks like my "days since client queried why the word 'nonce' appears on their website" counter can be reset to 0 again. (I know @rhys.wales can relate to this one 🫠)

Random fact: Original Hula Hoops were one of the only things I could tolerate without immediately bringing them back up when I was pregnant with my eldest. (Yay HG.) I would have spent a lot more time in hospital without them.

Huge uptick in emails to my biz email from "developers" asking for work & every single one I've looked at has sent me AI slop websites as evidence of 'their' skills. This is going to be a frickin' nightmare next time I hire.

My cold went from "this is manageable, will probably even run later" to googling symptoms of my impending death at 4am, so that's nice. (Think I might have covid or the flu, yay.)

The operative word in "Protect our women!" is not "women" but "our".

Today I learned that one of my favourite PC games is coming to the Switch 2. Viking raids from my bed, YES! www.nintendo.com/en-gb/Games/...