Ian 👻 BOOwers 🎃

We aren’t legacy media but we led the morning with this from @premthakker.bsky.social zeteo.com/p/donald-tru...

A guillotine-themed version of Shark Tank, where billionaires must give away their wealth to avoid execution.

Billy Corgan has been on Infowars, so that's two things he has in common with Ted Nugent

This sounds like a threat idk

Politics hits different when you're an "issue" instead of a citizen

lol reminder that betting markets are extremely accurate measures of conventional wisdom

Please don't make me find out who Ethan Klein is

Thank you sysadmins

every time you make me learn about a new internet person you owe me $10

There are kids out there seeing this gif wondering why the last character cycles from J to K to L

Incredible

This is the content I'm here for

Can confirm, Ben does not "have a darkness", he's just "From Here"

Straight up this ad is fucking gross

I'll send a prayer his way, but I don't think it will be the one he wants.

“i pooped all over my bedroom and now it smells bad and i am sad”

I contain too much lore. I would like to unmount the internet.

The Teams sound has never heralded anything good. It is a threat.

Any time there's a Microsoft commercial and the Teams sound happens I want to murder everyone in marketing at that company.

If you read interviews you'll see how expensive and time consuming it is to maintain this sort of shape; most folks simply cannot and should not consider this realistic. I've worked with folks with eating disorders before; we have to push back against the social pressure to do the impossible.

The invincible airplane

Uhh…the white sheet is a little too on the nose, don’t you think? www.jalopnik.com/2287470/tesl...

it’s bare minimum monday

There's a 90% chance it will do the trick and a 10% chance it will hallucinate and assume you meant to die at the end of the trick

Press Secretary Laura Loomer enters the room, walks up to the lectern, and proudly handcuffs herself to it

"Family dies due to RCS thruster malfunction"

A lot of the misinformation, miscommunication is around the fact that I labeled myself a doctor. I've treated many bonks and oopsies in the field with bandaids -- 'Is it ok if I label myself a doctor?' -- and my kids said, 'Absolutely. You can call yourself a doctor. You're the best doctor, daddy'

Add “for Tax Purposes” to a movie: Star Trek Into Darkness For Tax Purposes

How your email finds me

Putting this out there now: JK Rowling will eventually release something in collaboration with The Daily Wire.

This checks out, he only killed one person

This checks out, he only killed one person

I got the hoodie version of this in black and it remains one of my favorites

You can kill as many people as you want, but you target a beautiful precious data center? The one that hosted all 40,000 Sexy Ladies For Ken Paxton accounts?

Ooooh its leg day in the studio

“If you don’t like public executions just don’t watch it” says the crowd trying to ban drag shows and books

Customer getting mad at one of our junior engineers because we can't seem to ping their devices in the 169.254.255.0/24 range. "Proudly wrong" is my least favorite kind of customers, but ultimately easiest to deal with, about to have a very one-sided call.

Every part of this sounds terrible. To find joy in this you'd have to be so incredibly self absorbed.

What an absolutely psychotic image to pair with this headline

This rebrand won't take because nobody needs an additional term to describe something they already have a word for. When and if we get an actual "super intelligence", people will still call it "AI"

The moopsy drinks your bones

He's wrong about both of those things, but nobody wants artificial intelligence either so at least that line of reasoning is consistent.