Jeff Drake

So, to update: —Arabs are useless because they produce nothing —Somalis are garbage people from a garbage country —Norway can go fuck itself because it didn’t give the Nobel Peace Prize to Trump —Iran can be wiped off the map —Brown people don’t belong I America Who am I leaving out?

And here I thought I had heard all the possible ways that RFK Jr was a worthless piece of garbage.

everyone trying to gin up culture war controversy around President Obama’s Cheesecake Factory joke is conveniently leaving out the part about Saddam Hussein We aren’t red states, or blue states, but a country of people who can agree that if Saddam opened a dessert franchise it would look very tacky

Things an elitist would say includes claiming over 99% of the U.S. thinks the Cheesecake Factory is “high class dining.” “The poors LOVE that restaurant!”

Oh my god, please elevate the voices of more Trump supporters and treat them with the utmost seriousness and respect while treating progressive supporters like foolish children asking the tooth fairy to solve their problems!

High prices are great for business! Be happy for business!

Something I wish more people would realize.

Obama roasting Trump is classic. Also, you KNOW it’s gonna make him INSANE with anger.

Lights are reflected off a bulletproof screen as President Trump speaks during a campaign rally in Greenville, North Carolina. More photos of the week: reut.rs/4yGkBNh 📷 Evan Vucci

Guys Guy GUYS! Maybe today is the day!

Every time I see those Amazon delivery people on their little bike-powered contraptions, I think two things: 1) Amazon is probably touting this as an example of how pro-planet they are. And 2) I can’t wait to find out the many ways Amazon is fucking over these delivery people.

Undercover cop manning a fruit stand to take down another fruit stand in the market that sells illegal drugs. A chase ensues. The fruit stands smash through cars.

local hardware store invents creative new insult: welcome to fall, leaf bags

Ahh yes! Tell me more about Trickle Down and how it’s ambrosia and not urine!

If Trump’s health fails him publicly, Natalie Harp will have the Jackie O freakout while Melania stands stoically like a department store mannequin modeling last year’s fashion.

Everything is transactional with this piece of shit. Whether he’s an actual Russian asset or just a fucking idiot being played, he will ALWAYS do more for Putin because Putin will reward him with $$$.

This is partly why I stopped watching the NFL. The ownership & the learned culture lean into this gladiator bullshit. Players get seriously hurt & their careers are brief & their lives after are ruined & the league is like, “No worries. There’s plenty of players!” It’s rich white slaveholder shit.

There isn’t the capital return on the other side of this they would need to make that money back. Their big money-making model seems to be a subscription service for a product people currently don’t like or want and which gets less popular with each passing day.

If you don’t have a 15-year-old who is interested in music living in your house, I honestly don’t know how you discover new music these days.

Hahahaha

Holy shit. Every single Democrat: This is the message. This right here. This is the whole ass pitch the voters in the weeks before the election.

So what I’m hearing is that Republicans are paying people to make ads for Democrats?

Look. Everyone needs to vote and vote hard. But every day I’m seeing Democrats scoring body blows against Republicans and racists on the right and it’s honestly starting to feel like momentum. Also it feels like cocaine and I want to stay up and party and have more and more of it.

Thinking about when Victor Robles was telling the Praying Mantis on his cap how many outs there were 😭

Elon Musk is high on his own farts.

I can totally see why @schumer.senate.gov wouldn’t have anything to say about this. I mean, is it even news?

In case you forgot what a U.S. president beloved by the world looks like. 🇺🇸 🇬🇧 Live in Manchester: An Evening with President Barack Obama. The arena holds up to 23,500 people with standing room, and the event was SOLD OUT.

Reality check of a thread. Worth the read.

“We are the dictionary.” Ha!

Re the “flying Roadster”: UPSIDE: a LOT of dumb people will kill themselves in very stupid ways DOWNSIDE: they’ll probably take a lot of us with them

Mod Gorilla Boss movie when?

That Moby-Dick was based on a real whale called Mocha Dick seems so much like a bit @robdelaney.bsky.social would come up with. But it’s an actual true fact and it’s one of the many things that’s so entertaining about the Exploring Moby Dick podcast he and Professor Hester Blum host.

So weird that Wes Anderson’s new film is Whalefall.

“Get in, idiots! We’re driving to Mars!”

Americans, please don’t worry about your child coming home from school a different sex. Worry about your child not coming home from school because they were shot to death.

This is amazing.

My finest ever work. I wrote it on a treadmill in a gym, recording each title, as I thought of them, into the notes app.

Hopper portrayed the “horror house” before Hollywood. House by the Railroad (1925) freezes a mansion in suspense—a lonely home becomes ominous, American suburbia turns into a nightmare. Years later, it inspired Hitchcock’s famous film Psycho.

I get not liking the Dodgers, but at least we didn’t sing “God Bless America” in the 7th.

This Guardians team is very fun to watch.

“DeLauter STILL a triple away from the cycle!”