dylanris.bsky.social

Missionary Being Eaten by a Jaguar, 1967 by artist Noé León

Fire Dan Quinn. 🤡🤡🤡

"The Swordfish has no natural predators to be afraid of . . . except the Penfish, which is supposed to be even mightier."

I cannot emphasize enough how much damage Megyn Kelly has done to women everywhere. Us normal humans are concerned Jane Doe may harm herself. Megyn Kelly thinks being a famous alleged rape victim —with every mouthbreather on Twitter trying to dox and hurt you — is a life highlight.

''I'd like to go ahead and solve it. The Atlanta Hawks.''

Ed Sheeran’s future involves playing million dollar birthday party gigs for Arab sheiks who secretly funnel money to both Israel and Hamas.

pleasant surprise. i would like to read whatever deranged dissent alito and thomas have written. i’m sure it will be some version of “MAIL FRAUD IS REAL AND I SAW IT IN THE CLOSET MAKING A BABY AND THE BABY LOOKED AT ME”

The bird was watching and the reaction was fun 🤣

Thunder is fake. It doesn't even sync up properly with lightning. There's some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

We’re not changing it.

Fractures Emerge Between GOP’s Pro-Pedophilia, Extremely Pro-Pedophilia Wings

One way you know Dolly Parton lived life the right way: I don’t think anyone’s going to get fired for accurately quoting Dolly Parton today.

if only mitch mcconnell was alive to respond

René Magritte - "Evening Falls" (1964)

Horrifying and true.

The moment Collins announced she was a no on Blanche, you KNEW they had the votes.

Whitehouse: "Today I think is a sad and embarrassing day for this committee as it looks like on a party-line vote we are going to advance out of this committee probably the most discreditable person ever to seek the office of attorney general. Let's start with the Epstein files ... "

Was the point of Max Miller doing that video today to make him look even more guilty? If so, mission accomplished.

I’m glad the focus group gave Moreno permission to condemn Max Miller’s abuse of his daughter and granddaughter.

Christopher Nolan's "The Odyssey" is tremendously inaccurate. None of that stuff happened.

Hey Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me. *Tambourine Man shakes tambourine for several minutes* Well that sucked.

This morning in Biddeford, Maine, a 26-year-old man said goodbye to his wife and daughter and left for work. Moments later he was dead, shot in the head by ICE agents, the second man ICE has killed in six days. ICE is killing our neighbors. ICE cannot be reformed. Abolish ICE.

We‘re one executive order away from a chocolate fountain.

This Is Just to Say I have eaten the Senate race that was winnable And which you were probably counting on to retake control of the Senate Forgive me oysters are boring and this diversion fed my giant ego

let this be a lesson to deal with your feelings of gender anxiety and masculine inadequacy with a hobby or therapy or something and not a high stakes senate election

glad congress isn’t alive to see this

This might be the most blatant example in existence of "rich guy who created a problem attempting to place the blame for that problem on immigrants"

What a picture from cheney orr of @reuters.com — a Black woman on a train surrounded by masked white supremacists, emboldened in Trump’s America. One for the history books.

JOKER: Not so fast, Bat-JERK! My LAUGHBangs will leave you BLIND as a BAT! BLUESKY BATMAN: Oof. Many people suffer from reduced vision. Not funny. JOKER: It's like, it's a pun. It's just wordplay. BLUESKY BATMAN: Sorry if I'm not in the mood for "jokes" while SCOTUS shreds our constitutional rights

It's funny how SpaceX is $2T company run by a guy now worth $1T that had to issue $20B in bonds because the $86B they raised with their IPO immediately went to pay off debt accrued by their AI company that's built off of a fork of another AI company's code But it's definitely not a scam!

Quintessential Trump: In 2025, Trump axed the program to combat New World Screwworm, stating that they had "saved" $1.5 million a year. In 2026, the Trump announces a $1 billion emergency program to combat the Screwworm outbreak. $1 billion would have funded the old program for 667 years.

same guys protesting having to wear a pride flag.

There’s been a lot of talk in this race about what makes a "real man." A man does what’s right when no one is watching. He upholds his commitments to his family and neighbors. He doesn’t lie, cheat, & steal his way through life. Real men serve others. Weak men serve themselves.

Ironically, Young Jr is the oldest Young in this photo.

Honestly, one of the funniest tweets I've ever seen.

YOU’RE LISTENING TO SISYPHUS FM, THE HOME OF NON-STOP ROCK

Stephen Colbert is a national treasure: The day after his show was canned after 11 years by CBS to appease a tyrant, he shows up on the Monroe, MI public access channel where he did his first Late Show broadcast in 2015.

The fact that Thomas Massie lost a Republican primary because he wants pedophiles to face justice tells you everything you need to know about the state of the Republican party.

OpenAI Announces Construction Of New Data Center On Top Of Sick Child

Editorial cartoonist Andrea Arroyo presents “The Slow Bleeding of American Democracy.”

Why is a 76-year-old man doing all the hard work in this moment? Where are the Millennial/Gen Z artists (ahem, Taylor Swift) to shake their audiences into sobriety about what is going on? open.substack.com/pub/saltypol...

“Alexa, show us an interview you couldn’t pay us any amount of money to watch”

Father & son

Notice how a book can make you gay, a vaccine can make you autistic, a mask can make you sicker, and a poster of the Ten Commandments can make you moral, but guns don’t kill people.