ajpiano

ajpiano

@ajpiano.com

jokes still range from below lemon to sublime creator of Goalbot Network - @goalbot.dev

553 followers370 following1.8K posts

ajpiano
@ajpiano.com

what would improve halloween for me the most is if others adopted "track or trote" as the past tense of "trick or treat"

darth™️@darthbluesky.bsky.social

was just thinking if we had gotten taco trucks on every corner halloween night would be even more amazing

ajpiano
@ajpiano.com

this was sooooooo bad from talles. took the ball away from alonso, blew his load early, then shanked it. shambolic! #nycfc

Goalbot MLS@mls.goalbot.dev

PENALTY MISSED! 81' — Talles Magno's penalty is missed for @newyorkcityfc.com. @orlandocitysc.com 2–1 @newyorkcityfc.com. Major League Soccer #orlandocity #nycfc #MLS

ajpiano
@ajpiano.com

deep in enemy territory to catch this

Goalbot MLS@mls.goalbot.dev

Alonso Martinez 18' — Goal for @newyorkcityfc.com. @orlandocitysc.com 0–1 @newyorkcityfc.com. Major League Soccer #orlandocity #nycfc #MLS

ajpiano
@ajpiano.com

agreed, now i just need a wall-mounted, crank-powered mechanical bird, does anyone know where i can get one?

Strategic Tape Reserve@strategictaper.bsky.social

A musical instrument should always be a contraption. If it’s not a contraption, it’s probably not suitable for music making.

ajpiano
@ajpiano.com

they're calling it the 2-1-2-1-2-1-1

PJ Ryan@pjryansoccer.bsky.social

In France, Claire Constant got the start for Haiti 🇭🇹 against Australia 🇦🇺. At half its 2-1 Matildas. #ThatstheSpirit

ajpiano
@ajpiano.com

Dje D'Availing Myself Of The Shower Facilities Before Halftime

EarlyShowerBot@haha.yes.goalbot.dev

🟥 Red Card 43' — Djé D'Avilla (Chicago Fire). Chicago Fire 0–1 New York City FC. Major League Soccer #cf97 #nycfc #MLS

ajpiano
@ajpiano.com

simply en fuego...bring it all back, 90s sportscenter was cooler than the other side of the pillow

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ajpiano
@ajpiano.com

This Is Just To Say I have eaten my own tail that was in my mouth and which I was probably saving for myself Forgive me it was delicious soooo good and packed with protein

This post is unavailable.

ajpiano reposted

Tom
@moll.dev

Replying to @moll.dev

no idea where this antisocial norm comes from, that it's okay to bully developers if they make a choice you don't like, that you're entitled to throw your shit whenever. behaving like literal children, throwing a tantrum

ajpiano
@ajpiano.com

the faroes had just gone up two-nil and then this happened and the match ended in a 2-2 draw

EarlyShowerBot@haha.yes.goalbot.dev

🟥 Red Card 65' — Martin Agnarsson (Faroe Islands). Kazakhstan 0–2 Faroe Islands. UEFA Nations League #kazakhstan #faroeislands #nationsleague

ajpiano
@ajpiano.com

if you told me at seventeen i would eventually make a bot to report a Liechtenstein vs Gibraltar friendly in real time, i'd be like, yup, sounds about right

Goalbot UEFA@uefa.goalbot.dev

⚽ KICKOFF — Liechtenstein 0–0 Gibraltar. Friendlies #liechtenstein #gibraltar #friendlies

ajpiano
@ajpiano.com

this goes so fuckin hard

Goalbot Chronicle@chronicle.goalbot.dev

🏁 FULLTIME — Municipal Salamanca 2–0 Linares Unido. Segunda División #municipalsalamanca #linaresunido #chilesegundadivision

ajpiano
@ajpiano.com

is there a cute name for this like "the madrid derbito"

Goalbot Chronicle@chronicle.goalbot.dev

GOAL! 71' — Real Madrid II. Real Madrid II 3–2 Atlético Madrid II. Primera División RFEF - Group 2 #realmadridii #atleticomadridii #primeradivisionrfefgroup2

ajpiano
@ajpiano.com

hispaniola derby time!!

Goalbot CONCACAF@concacaf.goalbot.dev

📋 LINEUPS: Dominican Republic vs Haiti 4-2-3-1 v 4-4-2 🕐 20:00 GMT-4 · 00:00 UTC #dominicanrepublic #haiti #concacafnationsleague

ajpiano
@ajpiano.com

both the us and british virgin islands demonstrating their hospitality to visitors with simultaneous nations league Ls

ajpiano reposted

ajpiano
@ajpiano.com

Replying to @merrittk.com

there's a line between quirky worldbuilding and huffing farts and liberty mutual is like james joyce

ajpiano reposted

SickosFC
@sickosfc.bsky.social

FREE POD - WE'RE BACK THE RED CARD REPORT - THURSDAY SEPT 17TH - TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 29TH Congrats to this (La Liga Team) on the Earliest Red Card of the Week and they got a win too!! Real Potosi maintains the crown as the Top Red Card getting team in the world! www.patreon.com/SickosCommit...

patreon.comTHE RED CARD REPORT - THURSDAY SEPT 17TH - TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 29TH | Sickos CommitteeJoin Commish as he goes through as many of the Red Cards he can that occurred in the Football World. Congrats to Elche on the Earliest Red
ajpiano
@ajpiano.com

pov: you're the guy commentating on this match

Goalbot CONCACAF@concacaf.goalbot.dev

GOAL! 53' — Rovien ostiana scores for Aruba. Anguilla 0–1 Aruba. CONCACAF Nations League #anguilla #aruba #concacafnationsleague

ajpiano
@ajpiano.com

the "protect women's sports" party forgot women's sports

Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com

🤡 Schmitt beclowns himself 🤡 Schmitt concocted an elaborate conspiracy theory that Smith traveled to Atl for a Hawks game and to collude with Fani Willis, & flashed his "evidence" before accusing Smith of perjury. There's just one problem -- his facts were totally wrong. Here's the whole sequence:

ajpiano
@ajpiano.com

"and with that, we go to our sideline reporter who has more on the injury. is there any chance of him returning to the pitch today" "0.69" "cheers, jev"

ajpiano
@ajpiano.com

wake up babe, goalbot also does post match player ratings now, also it's tomorrow

Goalbot CONCACAF@concacaf.goalbot.dev

⭐ Match Ratings: USA 4–1 Peru #usa #peru #friendlies

ajpiano
@ajpiano.com

go on you robins!

Goalbot Chronicle@chronicle.goalbot.dev

GOAL! 57' — J. Knowles scores for Altrincham. Altrincham 3–0 AFC Hornchurch. National League #altrincham #afchornchurch #englandnationalleague

ajpiano
@ajpiano.com

wake up babe, goalbot now does pre-match lineup cards

Goalbot UEFA@uefa.goalbot.dev

📋 LINEUPS: Türkiye vs France 3-4-2-1 v 4-3-3 🕐 21:45 GMT+3 · 18:45 UTC #turkiye #france #nationsleague

ajpiano
@ajpiano.com

northern island pip georgia at the death to win today's vexillologist's derby

Goalbot UEFA@uefa.goalbot.dev

GOAL! 90' — Shea Charles scores for Northern Ireland. Georgia 0–1 Northern Ireland. UEFA Nations League #georgia #northernireland #nationsleague

ajpiano
@ajpiano.com

the number one television show of the 21st century is clearly byron allen's comics unleashed followed closely by LXTV's talk stoop btw i live in a taxicab

Phil Lewis@phillewis.bsky.social

Here’s The New York Times 100 Best TV Shows of the 21st Century: www.nytimes.com/interactive/...

ajpiano
@ajpiano.com

they made the liberty biberty into a real thing and it sucks even more than when it was just a fake thing