Ask a Manager

Ask a Manager

@askamanager.org

Creator of Ask a Manager – home to all your questions about lunch-stealing bosses, coworkers who won't stop hugging you, and how much you can drink at work.

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askamanager.orgshould workplaces ban Meta glasses?A reader writes: What do you do when you discover that multiple people in your office are wearing Meta glasses? It has recently come to my attention that at least three people in my office wear them on a daily basis. Apparently one person uses them as their prescription lenses. One other person who wears […] The post should workplaces ban Meta glasses? appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgmy boss stole my presentationA reader writes: I was hired by my current employer about two years ago and joined our internal consulting team. Different departments bring us in to help address challenges or figure out what’s going on when they’re facing a problem they can’t figure out. However, we also occasionally get tasked by leadership with addressing larger […] The post my boss stole my presentation appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgmy boss says I give too much praise to my employeesA reader writes: Recently, we had a tough situation where a new employee, Sam, rubbed my boss, Alex, the wrong way in their first two weeks, and since then I have not been able to successfully turn that ship around. I won’t deny that Sam has had challenges, but overall they are largely competent with […] The post my boss says I give too much praise to my employees appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgboss brags about her vacations, how often should I be talking with my coworkers, and moreIt’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Boss brags to everybody about her vacations The owner of our company used to work in our industry and built the business from the ground up. Let’s say we do, for anonymity’s sake, teapot design. If you asked her, I think she still sees herself […] The post boss brags about her vacations, how often should I be talking with my coworkers, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgmy team thinks I’m not qualified to manage themA reader writes: I oversee a team that does hiring/staffing. I’ve worked in this role at this company for four years, and before that led recruiting operations elsewhere. I’ve never been a recruiter, but have worked alongside them for the majority of my career. I’m primarily focused on interview best practices, process, metrics, etc., but […] The post my team thinks I’m not qualified to manage them appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgthe people who hate their jobs — but feel too guilty to leaveWhen it’s time to resign from a job, people tend to fall into one of two camps: those who can’t wait to tell their boss they’re leaving, and those who feel tremendously guilty about quitting, as if their resignation will be a betrayal of their colleagues. If you’re in the first camp, you probably find […] The post the people who hate their jobs — but feel too guilty to leave appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgmy boss wanted me to not do my job because I was pregnantA reader writes: I am currently on maternity leave with my third child (first at my current job). I technically had a high-risk pregnancy, but no real complications. My other pregnancies were similarly high-risk but with no real worries. And I have a history of both infertility and pregnancy loss. I mention that to paint […] The post my boss wanted me to not do my job because I was pregnant appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgmy boss tells me “I know you know this,” should an employer pay for an employee’s mistake, and moreIt’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss tells me “I know you know this” — but I don’t I have been in my current role for two years and under my current manager for a year. I like her a lot. She’s a very strong communicator, has a lot of […] The post my boss tells me “I know you know this,” should an employer pay for an employee’s mistake, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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these cats are very into watching Girls (right before this was taken, Grendel tried to attack Jessa on the screen)

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askamanager.orgweekend open thread – October 24-25, 2026This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Sunlight Finds You, by Laura Moriarty. After a 17-year-old falls in love with a wealthy boy in 1949 and he impulsively enlists to fight […] The post weekend open thread – October 24-25, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgpreviously on Ask a Manager…A look back at what we were talking about around this time in previous years: One year ago… I overheard my employee tell our intern that I’m “clueless” the company owner might be having an affair with our young new hire and won’t tolerate any criticism my young employees keep asking to take last-minute time […] The post previously on Ask a Manager… appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgopen thread – October 23, 2026It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to […] The post open thread – October 23, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgcoworker who quit is claiming 150 hours of off-the-clock pay, my coworker keeps saying “per my last email, and moreIt’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker who quit on the spot is claiming 150 hours of off-the-clock pay The company I work for is vaguely in the realm of special needs childcare. My role is a hybrid 50/50 admin role where I’m doing admin work half the day, and […] The post coworker who quit is claiming 150 hours of off-the-clock pay, my coworker keeps saying “per my last email, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgcan I ask for another interview with the hiring manager for my own questions?A reader writes: I’ve been out of work for several months, since my last employer, a well-known tech giant, suddenly decided my globally scoped role (almost all computer-based) could no longer be performed remotely. Since then, I’ve been working on completing my doctoral dissertation for the PhD I’d been working on part-time for several years. […] The post can I ask for another interview with the hiring manager for my own questions? appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgwhere are you now? (a call for updates)At the end of each year, I publish a slew of “where are they now” updates from people whose questions I answered here in the past. In past years we’ve had several hundred each December and it’s been magnificent. If you’ve had your question answered here in the past, please email me an update and […] The post where are you now? (a call for updates) appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orglet’s discuss times your office was weird about pregnancySomeone recently wrote to me: A good call for stories would be, “When was your job weird about pregnancy?” My wife had a tech job in an office that was mostly 20something dudes and they were (charmingly/hilariously!) ill-equipped to deal with a pregnant person. They were very sweet but absolutely clueless about what to do. […] The post let’s discuss times your office was weird about pregnancy appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgdealing with a negative coworker and boss, more eggs at work, and moreIt’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Dealing with a negative coworker when the manager is the same way This question is on behalf of my husband, who works in a small building. Recently, a new employee started (let’s call her Nelly) and has been very vocal and negative about her personal […] The post dealing with a negative coworker and boss, more eggs at work, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgmy coworker insists on being called “Dr.”A reader writes: It is the corporate culture in our departments from the director down for colleagues to refer to each other by their first names (or if there are two people with the same first name, we’ll say Sophie L. and Sophie P. and so forth). An administrator who was hired five years ago […] The post my coworker insists on being called “Dr.” appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgnew hire is demanding a promotion after a yearA reader writes: I hired a young employee, Frank, almost exactly a year ago in an entry-level administrative role. He didn’t have a lot of relevant experience but his enthusiasm and passion was infectious, and so I made the call to invest time and resources to skill him up and to explore new opportunities over […] The post new hire is demanding a promotion after a year appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orginterview with a life drawing model who poses naked for artistsI recently talked with someone who works as a life drawing model about her work. Here’s our conversation. First, tell us exactly what the job entails. I am a life drawing model, which means I pose, naked, while artists draw, paint or sculpt images of me. To pose I hold a standing, sitting, reclining, or […] The post interview with a life drawing model who poses naked for artists appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgmy boss told me not to help a drunk conference attendee, a loud coworker, and moreIt’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss told me not to help a drunk conference attendee who was being led away by a stranger I recently joined a 150-person company in a sales leadership role that I was headhunted for. In my second week, we hosted a customer conference in […] The post my boss told me not to help a drunk conference attendee, a loud coworker, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgmy team has almost no work but my coworkers claim to be stressed out and busy (and don’t want me taking on more either)A reader writes: I recently left a stressful senior role following a voluntary redundancy situation. I knew I was sick with burn-out, but I didn’t realize how sick. After a false start with a sector-hopping job that claimed to be flexible and amazing (and very much was not), I took some time to rest and […] The post my team has almost no work but my coworkers claim to be stressed out and busy (and don’t want me taking on more either) appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgshould I re-hire an employee who left after five months?A reader writes: We just had an employee leave after only five months in his position because another company he had applied to last year reached back out and offered him a much higher salary. He left on good terms, we are still in touch, and there is no ill will on either end. However, […] The post should I re-hire an employee who left after five months? appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgemployee’s adult child constantly interrupts them at workA reader writes: I have a barely competent employee, Lee, whose low productivity has been further harmed in the past year by the constant disruptions caused by their adult child, and I do not know what to do about it. Some background: while Lee is a hard worker, they are not very coachable and do […] The post employee’s adult child constantly interrupts them at work appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgemployee reeks of cigarettes, boss/friend degrees of separation, and moreIt’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My employee goes to clients’ homes reeking of cigarette smoke I have an employee, Susan. Susan smokes. She has tried to quit and has used vapes, but still smells like smoke. Her job is something like home health care, but not exactly. She goes to […] The post employee reeks of cigarettes, boss/friend degrees of separation, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.org11 times HR got it really, really rightA few weeks ago we talked about times HR got it really right (and as one commenter said, ” I did not expect these tales of human heartbreak and heroics.”) Here are 11 of my favorite stories you shared. 1. The retirement plan sign-up First job for a small family-run business. Our solo HR person/accountant […] The post 11 times HR got it really, really right appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgclient keeps showing up without an appointmentA reader asks: I run a small business that sells specialty items online on behalf of clients who either ship items to us or schedule appointments to make drop-offs at our office. We have prominent signage at our front door that says appointments are required, and that information is also on our website and reiterated […] The post client keeps showing up without an appointment appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgdid my coworker accuse me of flirting with him?A reader writes: A guy I work with accused me of being inappropriate with him. I was horrified I gave him the wrong impression and wished to be swallowed into another dimension. As a woman in tech, I’ve had coworkers develop a crush on me multiple times, and it’s always so painful and awkward. I’d […] The post did my coworker accuse me of flirting with him? appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgis it terrible to call in sick after a big work sprint, could you get rejected for a job because of an eating disorder, and moreIt’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Is it terrible to call in sick after a big work sprint? We just went through a very busy, all-hands-on-deck period at work that was unavoidable. Think along the lines of a G20 conference or an election — requiring a lot of events and focus […] The post is it terrible to call in sick after a big work sprint, could you get rejected for a job because of an eating disorder, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgweekend open thread – October 17-18, 2026This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: The Things We Never Say, by Elizabeth Strout. A lonely but beloved teacher learns a family secret. The plot is never the point with […] The post weekend open thread – October 17-18, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgpreviously on Ask a Manager…A look back at what we were talking about around this time in previous years: One year ago… my office is obsessed with Taylor Swift my religious family disapproves of my socializing with male colleagues worker stunk up client’s bathroom, then billed her for it Two years ago… my coworker insisted on inviting her sister […] The post previously on Ask a Manager… appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgopen thread – October 16, 2026It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to […] The post open thread – October 16, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgmy coworker put up a Rising Sun flag, should I tell our lawyer about his disorganized paralegal, and moreIt’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker put up a Rising Sun flag I have a coworker, Peggy, who likes to decorate her cubicle with kitchy knick-knacks she finds in antique stores. She recently pinned a flag inside hers for aesthetic purposes that I’m afraid will cause problems. For context, […] The post my coworker put up a Rising Sun flag, should I tell our lawyer about his disorganized paralegal, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgis it rude to ask what people are doing on leave?A reader writes: When a coworker mentions some upcoming leave they are taking, is it considered poor form to ask what they’re getting up to? My instinct when someone says, “I won’t be in next week” is to ask if they have anything fun planned. I’ve always thought of that as just friendly small talk, […] The post is it rude to ask what people are doing on leave? appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgupdate: I need to cunningly find out 40 namesRemember the letter-writer who was terrible with names and after four years still didn’t know the names of many of their coworkers (#3 at the link)? Here’s the update. I thought I’d send an update to this query from last year. Took about a year, but I do know most names now! You suggested a […] The post update: I need to cunningly find out 40 names appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orglet’s talk about family involving themselves in someone’s job when they shouldn’tWe’ve heard many stories here over the years of family members involving themselves in a loved one’s job when they shouldn’t — the dad who called to ensure his son’s company had “properly briefed”him on his work travel, the husband who kept calling to complain about his wife’s evaluation, the mom who showed up and […] The post let’s talk about family involving themselves in someone’s job when they shouldn’t appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgemployee makes terrible noises about a coworker’s lotion, the Kelly Clarkson drama, and moreIt’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. The Kelly Clarkson bird toy drama I’m desperate for your take on this story! TL;DR renowned pop star Kelly Clarkson visits Brooklyn toy store, tries to buy their beloved bird automaton (listed for $15,000). Kelly says they dismissed her “like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman,” […] The post employee makes terrible noises about a coworker’s lotion, the Kelly Clarkson drama, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgmy husband’s job is a mess of affairs, favoritism, and blame — what can he do?A reader writes: My husband, Bob, is one of two supervisors over a small team that loves to gossip. His boss, Amelia, is recently divorced and having a not-so-secret affair with her boss, Craig, which is a regular topic of discussion. However, their long lunches aren’t the primary issue. The other team supervisor, Morgan, is […] The post my husband’s job is a mess of affairs, favoritism, and blame — what can he do? appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgupdate: can I have a few drinks when I’m always somewhat on call?Remember the letter-writer wondering if they can have a few drinks when they’re always somewhat on call? Here’s the update. Thanks again for your great advice! Things have developed, and your advice and that of the comment section was really helpful! I know I always appreciate updates, so here’s mine! As I mentioned in the […] The post update: can I have a few drinks when I’m always somewhat on call? appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgmy boss says I should manage my problem coworker, but I’m not her bossA reader writes: How do you manage someone when you’re not a manager? For the last six months, I’ve been on a small team for a project. The man we work under, George, is half-retired, works less hours, and is very busy. Against his will, he’s been made a boss again due to complicated circumstances. […] The post my boss says I should manage my problem coworker, but I’m not her boss appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgcan I stick it to my job because I’m angry about return-to-office, boss is a huge downer, and moreIt’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Can I stick it to my job because I’m angry about return-to-office? I was working in a call center customer-facing role for five years total. I spent two years in an office and then was unexpectedly forced to work from home in 2020. There was […] The post can I stick it to my job because I’m angry about return-to-office, boss is a huge downer, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgI had to fire two long-time volunteersA reader writes: One of the many hats I wear at my small nonprofit is volunteer coordinator. Recently, our executive director and one board member asked me to “fire” two of our volunteers, which I did, despite some hesitation. I am not sure if I handled this correctly, and would love to learn from this […] The post I had to fire two long-time volunteers appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgmy coworker’s stress is stressing us all outA reader writes: I work in government on a team of extremely competent and collaborative colleagues. We do high stress, high visibility, complicated work that is often written up in the media. Our office culture supports work-life balance and we all really believe in the work we do. I am one of our senior analysts […] The post my coworker’s stress is stressing us all out appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgwas my mom out of line in her response to a snarky comment from an employee?A reader writes: This situation actually happened to my mom, but when we talked about it, I was surprised by how different our feelings were about it. My mom works as the president of an organization that is not doing well. She was specifically hired because there were a lot of issues with the organization, […] The post was my mom out of line in her response to a snarky comment from an employee? appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgboss is asking about my child care arrangements, people schedule meetings over my lunch break, and moreIt’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss is asking about my child care arrangements, but I’m getting my job done I’m a relatively new parent working in a hybrid position. My job is primarily remote, with occasional in-person responsibilities — one day a week in the office and a small […] The post boss is asking about my child care arrangements, people schedule meetings over my lunch break, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgmy boss wants to give me his kidney — but I don’t want itI’m off today, so here’s an older post from the archives. This was originally published in 2018. A reader writes: I have a question that is on the opposite end of the spectrum from the boss who (shudder) tried to force his employees to donate an organ to his brother. I have a serious chronic […] The post my boss wants to give me his kidney — but I don’t want it appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgupdates: long-winded candidates, the boss who left with no warning, and moreHere are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. How should I handle job candidates who cut me off, are long-winded, or answer the wrong question? I left the tech industry a few years ago for unrelated reasons in order to go into fine art. Whenever I get a new commission client, step one is an […] The post updates: long-winded candidates, the boss who left with no warning, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgmy coworker says her husband died — but he didn’tI’m off today, so here’s an older post from the archives. This was originally published in 2018. A reader writes: I have a coworker who mentions her deceased husband fairly frequently in conversation. It’s been several years since he passed away after a protracted illness. (He had lupus, and she says that they knew it […] The post my coworker says her husband died — but he didn’t appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgcan I ask my coworkers to stop swearing, company banned my husband and me from PDA, and moreI’m off today. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. Can I ask my whole office to stop swearing? So, maybe I just need to adult a little, and this might seem really nit-picky, but I work in a very casual, small […] The post can I ask my coworkers to stop swearing, company banned my husband and me from PDA, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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askamanager.orgweekend open thread – October 10-11, 2026This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: The Project, by Annie Lord. Fed up with dating, two women in London launch a project to make men into more appealing partners, using […] The post weekend open thread – October 10-11, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager.