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God bless @theonion.com

Too bad it wasn't Mara-Loco.

😂😂

The further south one travels in Florida, the further north they go. I live here, there are a lot of us. It's not our fault we're surrounded by obtuse angles.

NOT AMERICAS WANG

Mazel Tov!

Best news of the weekend! 😂

See, there yah go, getting our hopes up...

No loss…

Circumcision by boom….

🤣

Sad.

we can only hope.

One could only hope!!

Just the tip? 😔

To bad he didn’t grow a brain, at least one that did more than just provide motor function. WHAT an asshole.

As ling as the Keys are okay. That’s the only part of Florida that I can stomach!

if we are lucky the Greenland Glaciers will take the threats seriously and decide to slide into the ocean and thereby swamping a large chunk of Florida.. as well as the eastern sea board.. Moral of the story: Don't fuck with Greenland

Bris!

The fine line between satire and fantasy….

Continent circumcision

People will blame the Jews for this circumcision

Oof

Did it blow off Mar-a-Lago? 🙏

🤣🤣🤣👍🏾

Please don’t give me hope like that, Onion.

I live in Miami, but currently in Rome. And I 1000% support this.

Step-Miami, what are you doing?!?

The dickhead is gone.

We couldn't be that lucky

Looks more like an infected, bad circumcision to me.

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 ... 😂

😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

Or this happened. 😂

I live there, but I'm willing to sacrifice if it takes Trump . :)

🤣🤣🤣

Oh, no. Most of the assholes went down with the shit....the ship! The ship!

Dude, where's my keys?

If only 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

Not sad at all! 😂

is Mar-a-Lardo at the bottom of the ocean?

We wish

Ya’ll have been on fire lately. Incredible work satirists!

Maralago is in the Gulf Stream now

If only!

😂 Thanks for the castration! Hopefully, it hit Mar A-Lago.

<Mother Nature has entered the chat> Challenge accepted. Doom.exe

One can only wish. Send all the dictator lovers back to their authoritarian homelands.

FLORIDA MAN WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

At least it wasn't a gender reveal party

Hmm. Accident?

I blame the woke.

👆👆⬆️⬆️

Ha

And nothing of value was lost.

I hope it was the bad part.

Circumcise Florida

IM STILL ALIVE BITCHEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!

Hilarious!

Alright damnit lol

I wish! 🤣

Oh, well. Hmm. What's for dinner...

Aww, the only good part of Florida too, the glades

If only

Also trying to draw in Jewish people!

I hope Mari largo is finally gone!

The whole thing please

Mar-a-Lar-Go Boom!

This is fantastic news

Improving the US.

It was only a matter of time

SpaceX rockets aren't even waiting until they're in the air to explode.

Bummer.

Don't threaten me with a good time!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Now we just need Bugs Bunny to finish her off!

Did it get Mar A Lardo?

It’s a good start.👍

Was it the Mar a Lago half? 🥴

We wish

Cool✌🏼😆

I hope that includes Mar a Loser.

Florida could use a circumcision.

Awe, it got seriously circumcised.

It was a circumcision that got out of control!!!

This just in!!! Florida man blows off JUST THE TIP!!!!

Did they take Alligator Auschwitz with it... 😏

🤣🤣🤣 Couldn't happen to a better place...

keep goin'

Wishful thinking!

Send them to the RNC.

🤣😂🤣

Trump is lost at sea. Melania called off the search shortly after the incident.

Great 👍

Ask Stormy if it now has a closer resemblance to Mr. Taco’s button shroom?

That was the gun in Florida’s pocket.

If only

Hey, that includes Mar A Lago. Maybe it wasn't an accident after all!

There goes the hood.

Just the tip?

More please.

If only

Gut laughed

If only!!!

As long as it got Muck A Lagress, ok!

Causing literally dollars worth of damage.

"Just the tip" as they always say...

😅

If only

Blow it off and leave a tip? 💲 What's that?

In related news- cherry red tesla sales replace red corvette sales as entitled middle-age self-love trophies.

Hope Mary a Lago went