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Thank you for your service

We appreciate you!

This is self-harm, K.B.

If it Happens tonight by lightning bolt, I want to hear it from you first.

So... This supposed record -setting fireworks show is going to take place on July 5th, not the actual holiday.

shhhhhhhh those who learn from history are less likely to repeat it

...apparently he only managed to do one hour. One hour is still pretty tiring! There's still hope

Shit it's *starting* at 11 pm? I thought it was scheduled for 10 and that seemed late.

The city of Alexandria, inside the Beltway, about 6 miles at the firework explodes, is not here for this.

"Did you see our planes? The best planes. Of course you didn't, becuase they are so stealthy. The best stealth planes. but they were there. Millions of them. So many."

Having seen one take off at an air show, yes, they are really really loud.

Thank you for your service.

Preeeeeeetty sure the marching orders for these hosts were "talk about the amazing crowd size" because they haven't stopped talking about the enormous crowd size. Narrator voice: The crowd is not enormous.

5th of July fireworks!

"To prove his enormous strength, the great leader will speak at 11pm, 2 hours after sunset when most his followers have dehydrated themselves drinking beer under a heat dome"

Um, this seems bat shit.

May Thor smile upon us tonight

Thank you for your service. 🫡

*straps on helmet*

So he spoke for about 40 minutes in the middle of the night. I'm still gonna need proof he can do a 2-hour speech in triple-digit temps in DC humidity.

I am here for this K.B.!