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im starting to feel the slow transition from "i write software" to "i usually write software with a lot of meetings in between". is this what the beginning of the end looks like?

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It doesn't have to be! I did team lead for about 5y, then switched back to coding/designing. Most companies, esp. startup have too little coordination and you end up doing 60% coding + 60% managment and then you burn out.

like 75% of my job is preemptively asking questions in meetings and finding answers so that 2 weeks later everyone has to think as little as possible about them when they actually come up

Ask for the meeting agenda and document you’ll be going over in the meeting and if there’s any specific perspective they want from you. Assuming they have those meeting basics prepared, ~30-90% of the time, you can respond with “I left my notes on the doc. Lmk if you’ve got questions.” No meeting.

Oh that's just Agile and being a more senior engineer. The truest test of a senior engineer is someone who only writes one line of code a month, but that one line is a line nobody else would be trusted or know how to modify.