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it should be illegal to give me any shipping status notification before the carrier has picked it up nobody cares about labels

retailer: your thing is ready to ship! me: is it on its way retailer: no me: does the carrier have it retailer: no me: so what did you do retailer: well we put it over there me: ... retailer: and printed out a label me: ... retailer: and put a label on it me: what do you want, a fucking medal?

retailer: but we did our bit me: congratulations retailer: ... me: that's like the absolute minimum you'd have to do to get something to me retailer: but we did a thing!!!! me: ok so can I track it retailer: no me: why not retailer: because the carrie- me: carrier doesn't have it yet yes I know

me: you see the problem here retailer: what problem me: this isn't like an actual step I care about retailer: what, printing a label? me: no. I do not care about that retailer: well what do you care about? me: I care about when it's actually on its way

retailer: but it is on its way! me: no it's not retailer: yes it is me: can you see it retailer: yes me: is it moving retailer: ... me: is it moving retailer: ... me: is it moving away from you and getting smaller retailer: ... me: I thought so

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retailer: but you don't understand we did a thing me: look, see retailer: ... me: what you did was this retailer: ... me: your workflow says that the status of the thing I want changed from "no label" to "label" retailer: yes! we did it! me: I don't care retailer: ... me: I literally don't care

retailer: but- me: oh look you're competent well done retailer: but we thought you'd want to kno- me: do you know how many emails I get a day retailer: ... me: do you fucking know retailer: is it me and retailer: too many me: yes. too many. retailer: ...

me: so do you think I want more retailer: but you DON'T UNDERSTAND, we did something me: but YOU don't understand, that's a YOU THING not a ME THING retailer: so what do you want to know? me: I want to know when the thing has left you and it's fucking moving

retailer: but there's a track package button me: yes so I clicked that retailer: cool huh you can track your package me: do you know what I saw retailer: what me: I saw that there was nothing to see. nothing to track retailer: yeah because the carrier hasn't booped it yet