Wizard Hazel

Found out this morning that my rice cooker makes perfect oatmeal. I don’t even want to think about all the hours I wasted stirring oatmeal on the stove.

Apparently Tribe has renamed itself the “School of Movement Arts” and I have to wonder: did someone get through to them about the name being racist, or were there finally enough allegations and labor violations that the brand was ruined?

The math doesn’t add up for Baltimore’s housing market. If you had $7k to spend each month on housing, why would you not just buy a $400k house and pay it off in ten years?

This is the most important day of the year for the Light Rail and the state still can’t do it right. @govwesmoore.bsky.social, why won’t you budget money to hire enough drivers?

The other week I yelled “you have a stop sign!” at a driver who was rolling through a stop sign and about to hit me. Her response was “sorry, I didn’t see you”. You don’t get to roll through stop signs even when no one’s there!

What a smug asshole.

Stressing that I actively avoid using AI for exactly this reason: can anyone spot the math error in this response?

Tesla bravely asking “what if a truck wore oakleys”

Once again and despite his best efforts, Trump manages help the climate in a way no Democrat would ever be allowed to.

You should be embarrassed to publish this op-ed that doesn’t mention legalizing ADUs is required by state law

I’ve been seeing parodies of Ed Sheeran songs making fun of him for being spineless and I have to say: changing the words is not enough to make his music enjoyable

I sure hope today was the last gasp of summer. The heat and humidity have been back with a vengeance.

It’s symbolically incoherent. The Statue of Liberty holds a torch as a symbol of enlightenment. It’s not a weapon, and she’s not going into battle. Why would she hold a shield?

“I wish that we could build a popular consensus for Medicare for All” *monkey’s paw curls*

Look, some of us were quiet and gangly and merely okay at cross country

Made the mistake of opening my windows for fresh air yesterday and hoo boy am I paying for it in allergies now

BPD fired Robert Parks. Took them long enough, but good riddance.

My (solid blue state) teachers couldn’t handle being normal about the pledge of allegiance, there’s no way they could handle teaching the bible. We still managed to understand the scarlet letter without it.

Similarly, people talking about surveillance should have to specify whether they mean that the government shouldn’t know what they’re doing if they’re not breaking reasonable laws (agreed) or that the government shouldn’t know what they’re doing even when they’re breaking reasonable laws (cmon, man)

We should be asking serious questions, like “If rural conservatives like America so much, how come they want to live so far away from Americans?”

Sitting down with an ebook and the lights off was a mistake Now it’s not even 9 on a Friday and I already feel like it’s bedtime

Thank you to the Beat for doing actual journalism where others won’t

I think at the presidential debates they should ask each candidate what one pet peeve they would fix via executive fiat. Mine would be directing the NWS to change the names for “watch” and “warning” to “likely” and “observed”.

I will be hiding in the basement until further notice

Do the gamers know they’re going to be real air traffic controllers or is this more of an ender’s game situation

Rallied, did a bunch of meal prep, and somehow despite my best efforts got habanero and/or ghost pepper juice on my fingers

Significantly overestimated the amount of making-dinner energy I would have after my run It turns out that in the summer you can actually use liters to measure the will to live leaving your body

Quote posting this to bring attention to a very important Baltimore issue: if the sidewalk is smaller than 8 feet wide, we should get to put our trash/recycling bins in the street It’s very annoying that the sidewalk is unusable for a full two days a week

The combination of “bands only play DC” + “MARC and Amtrak stop running at 10pm” is rough. Can’t really justify a $200 hotel room or a $100 uber for a $15 show.

One of my pet peeves is whenever Columbia gets ranked for “most _____ cities in America”. It’s not a city!

We could have had three red lines instead of this war

There are people lined up outside CFG bank arena right now for the 7pm tame impala show and all I can think about is their poor lungs

If you need me I’ll be hiding inside all day

Guess it’s back to the treadmill tomorrow

Would love to see an ad campaign showing people getting into crashes because they’re trying to drive faster to make up time. The tagline would be “It’s okay to be late. You’ll live.”

Went for a run this evening and it was so hot the sky didn’t look like it was the right color

If the jets could stop that would be great