Sometimes No

Thinking about getting into some kind of cargo cult situation with random stuff I keep finding in my yard. Stuff from God I assume.

who else?

If Dungeons and Dragons isn't real, then how come the Monster Manual was able to predict 'Mar-a-lago Face' huh?

Is the house actually haunted by Geena Davis and Alec Baldwin?

I wanna remake Hellraiser, but instead of a puzzle box its super fancy soaps that if you use they summon demons and they're less bondage and more "Pumpkin Spice Latte" coded.

This aired just the once in 1998 on the live SNL show for which McKay wrote it. It was effectively banned as it never aired again. I wonder why. MEDIA-OPOLY

Cool song, but I was gonna stay away from Copperhead Road anyway-- what with the copperheads and all.

I could probably beat a chimp in a spelling bee

I'm pretty sure I just got turned down for a job I never actually applied for. MFers just telling me I didn't get the job for pure love of the game at this point.

In addition to changing the lake to "Lake America" Google will also be changing their famous moto of "Don't Be Evil" to "Arbeit Macht Frei"

A new video for Gimmie Some More just dropped. Flipmode!

Look, the economy is pretty bad right now. You're gonna have to choose either Echo OR the Bunnymen.

C'mon Donny! You can't let Dolly AND Tim Curry show you up! They're stealing all the attention, it's time to make remembering 80-year-olds great again!

I've met a lot of older session guys and guys that played the country music live circuits in the 80's and every one of them was absolutely enchanted with Dolly Parton.

Hi I'm James Blunt and here's my newest book about life on the sea: "She Won't Say No... Because of the Implication"

You sell drugs to pay your bills and we put you in a hole, maybe for life. Because drugs are dangerous. You sell poison blueberries and kill children you get a first class ticket on the Epstein Express to party with the president. Because you were born in the right zip code. That's America.

Listening to an old song with the lyrics "My futures in the hands of fools" and being like, damn dude called it. [One Minute Silence - Remain Calm -- was the track btw]

the police used to watch over the people, now they're watching the people

Is it yellow mustard because of it's color.... OR because it is the most cowardly of the mustards? ...in other news, I'm not sleeping well...

Hey, your dad's here. He wants to know if you're squared away with enough batteries in case of an outage

Cowboy Guy: Oh what a beautiful--- Beastie Boys: MORNIN Cowboy Guy: Oh what a beautiful--- Beastie Boys: DAY

Your honor, Steve Miller's song "Abra Abra Cadabra, I wanna reach out and grab ya" is NOTHING like my song "Hocus Hocus Pocus, I'm gonna molest you."

Wait, wait... You guys were doing DRUGS!? I was just excited to eat gummi bears with my friends!

Well, now it's AI screaming at me from shitty Ads all day. Instead of actors. The same garbage people still making life terrible, but now some actor and some production crew won't be making rent this month. That's what progress is now.

Dogs on Albany streets howl, because they understand It's not an expression from Utica man!

A good day to be reminded that Hunt for the Wilderpeople is an amazingly funny heartfelt film about found family. RIP Sam Neill 💙

Noooooo!!!!!!

So wait, you're telling me that the dude with the nazi tattoos.... Is a bad guy? Ok, I think I need to sit down.

Been out of work for 6 weeks now. I think the worst part is knowing that without my efforts, somewhere out there Chad Q. Mastercard VII doesn't have enough profits to fuel up his 3rd yacht; the "Sea Molester"

I have ran out of money to pay for my music service. I'm trying to listen to the free version but it's basically '40 seconds of notes'-'ad for dick pills'-'3 ads for AI'-'30 seconds of music'

They should remake Goodfellas with Muppets. I can't decide if the only human should be Jimmy or Morrie though.

I'd like to freeze myself until they finally get rid of that drum sound in trailers. You know, the ubiquitous "epic" "KAPOW KAPOW KAPOW!!!" super reverb drums usually followed by a loud "BWUAAAMMMMPPP!!!" Like for example: *KAPOW KAPOW KAPOW!!!* "This dog Clifford..." *BWAAMMP!!!!!" "Is too big!"

Reason #234 why I'm not allowed to be a tv exec: [At a production meeting for the Cape Fear show] "I don't CARE if she's in her 50's now, I want Juliette Lewis to play the daughter again!"

For every hand you hold, there will be a time you let go for the last time and never hold it again.

Escaping New York is extra hard when you're moving in slow motion the entire time!

Just read about the Ring of the Fisherman for the first time, had no idea they issued the pope magic items upon ascension...

"You lose! You get nothing! Good day sir!!!" - The Doctor to me on the day of my birth.

NETFLIX: would you like to see season two of Avatar The Last Airbender ME: no NETFLIX: we were hoping you'd say that

➡️ Go to Dropout.tv to watch new Don't Hug Me I'm Scared: watch.dropout.tv/videos/tran...

Absolute Horses is the new Streets Ahead.

Literally sitting on the dock of a bay

Tattling Tortellini

Man these coal commercials "Gold comes from out of the ground; so does coal!" Also vegetables are buried in the dirt; my cat buries his shit in the dirt... So shit is basically food right?

Thinking about becoming the kind of guy who says "hell yeah" and "brother" to people.

I mean, if you keep saying he's at Walter Reed eventually it will be true...

Thinking about changing my first name to DONOTREPLY

Got my picture taken for a work function and I straight up look like a fucking monster.

Sad. Need pictures of animals being dudes.