Shell

Public Service Announcement: if you do a good job the first time, you don’t need to ask for a second chance!

How many lights do you see?

My awesome new t-shirt arrived today. Thanks for the quality message, @thebandcake.bsky.social !

NEW: Epstein survivors release the most powerful PSA I have ever seen. Make this go viral so every member of the House of Representatives sees it.

TIL there is a roller coaster in Denmark that is called Hundeprutterutchebane (Danish), which translates to Dog Fart in English. Not only that, it has a dog statue complete with…digestive sounds.

#boycott

Is it totally dorky that I’m irrationally happy to stay home and play Rock Band tonight? I mean, me being me, I have to be told these things.

To all the comedians who stood for free speech in the face of wokeness

I have attained the Jedi Master level of OPE! youtube.com/shorts/LNhON...

Y’all didn’t think I was actually trying to problem solve, did you?

A little Column A, and a little Column B…

One time, out of nowhere, my youngest said, “I hate moths - they’re like the butterfly’s creepy uncle.” I think about that a lot. I’m not sure what hidden wisdom that statement holds, but I’m sure it’s there.

“If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.” - Neil Peart, via Rush. Been thinking a lot about that line these days… youtu.be/c6pn8O7nXKY?...

The State of Illinois at this time has received no requests or outreach from the federal government asking if we need assistance, and we have made no requests for federal intervention.

👇🏼 if you follow an illegal order you're in violation of your oath to the constitution and the rule of law👇🏼

This is a really excellent point. youtu.be/xxq_dkdEZ9w?...

Do I have a petty streak? You bet your ass I do. But that’s mostly a silly way to describe it. What I really have is a great hatred of injustice, and great joy at seeing consequences delivered to those who dish it out.

People in Los Angeles have been protesting 24 hours for 2 weeks straight and no news outlet is covering it! 8/8/25

How did we function before internet snark? I mean, look how limited the audience was for our acerbic wit.

♫ and she’s watching him with those fries

Who let the dogs out?? www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...

Words mean diddly squat without action.

So say we all.

Me to husband: “You should go to bed at a good time, so we both do!” So he does, because he’s cool like that. Also me: *Still watching F1 clips on YouTube at 11:34 PM*

Brother Josh taking us to church.

May the spirit of John Lewis be a guide for us all.

Couldn’t have said it better myself. No really, I couldn’t - I’m not a doctor.

If you stay ready, you ain’t gotta get ready.

Ridiculous Confession Time: I have still never seen Napoleon Dynamite. Your turn!

To be fair, I think the shirt needs to be a worse color and have a gaping hole in it to truly capture that 2025 essence.

Wow. I’ve always liked Colbert, but this is so well-put.

Congress eliminated public media funding. At a time of deep division, public media brings us together. Help keep it strong. Join our monthly donors today: n.pr/458sOhq

It’s pretty hard to argue with logic this solid.

I’m this old

caveman: wanna go hunting with me? wife: can I bring my sister? caveman: no, she'd be a third wheel wife: a what? caveman: never mind, just something i'm working on

Inventor of the waffle cone: here, enjoy a delicious cookie with your ice-cream Inventor of the "cake" cone: eat this Styrofoam cup you piece of shit

Hasta la vista, CBS/Paramount Plus.

If something can be destroyed by the truth, then let it - be it a person, a government, or an empire built on lies.

The truth may be puzzling. It may take some work to grapple with. It may be counterintuitive. It may contradict deeply held prejudices. It may not be consonant with what we desperately want to be true. But our preferences do not determine what's true. - Carl Sagan

I feel like a Rush lyric sums things up the best: “The way out, is the way in.”

i sure do love those 30 seconds after waking up when i haven’t yet remembered about The Things

Hello.

But that’s not important right now.

Note to self: Avoid low hanging branches.

This Parrot Accuracy is insane.