Pat-HEX-myth (love, with a routing number)

Ask your doctor if just drinking a giant glass of water, and going to fucking bed is right for you.

Guards!!!!! Off to his bed.

Me and the regular group who like my posts

basil isn't real

3 levels of square roots, jesus. fucking. christ.

I want to complain about a thing, but the thing is my own fault, and it would be petty as fuck to complain about it at this point, so here's a Drake math joke.

I think it's sweet that Flavio is going to spend more time with his dad.

Find something to do that directly puts something good in the world. Not voting. Not raising awareness. Something that lets you hold the hand of someone thanking you for helping them personally.

Everybody's nose has been eroded Everybody snores with their nostrils blocked Everybody's nose is red and hungover Everybody's nose has a funny gloss Everybody's nose needs to be fixed The poor stay snozzed, the rich get glitzed That's how it goes Everybody's nose.

why did the lightbulb cross the street? to walk into a bar with the rabbi

So, we might be less fucked because President Dipshit didn't subsidize cattle enough. Well good, also fuck.

When my children pick the hard road I have to cheer them on and tell them they'll be ok because that's what parents need to provide. It's hard sometimes, though. I want to be their friend and tell them to take the shortcut.

I'm committing to stop looking so hard for shit I'm not going to do, and doing more of the shit I'm going to do.

My retirement plan is training dobermans to rob banks.

let me guess... it escaped?

Spirit Halloween just opened a location on my vision board.

I'm bringing 'shit between their ears' back as a phrase. It's a strong statement without being ableist. No one is afflicted with shit between their ears by nature.

I don't know that the protests shouldn't disrupt anything people, and Ukraine shouldn't target Russian energy storage facilities people are the same people, but I hope so, because that would mean less people with shit between their ears.

I can't really be expected to comprehend Abbott and Paxton as 2 different people.

Guest pet was told it can’t climb on some furniture so he’s testing everything now, like a little rebel goat.

Sometimes you see a story, and you know there's a valid counterpoint to be made, and you just have to eat that comment because people gotta feel that emotional reaction. Anyway, I will probably vaguely make my point days from now and then I'll feel better, and no one will be mad at me (about this).

Be kind. Everybody’s here getting attention the best way they know how.

fortune teller: gazing into the mysterious depths of my crystal ball, I can see your furniture... wait, what? me: oh sorry, the mailman stopped by while I was waiting for you to come out for the reading and I put your shopping ads underneath your do-daa there so you wouldn't miss them.

Busy old fool, funk soul brother

One of the props in CA is, if I understand it correctly, a billionaire put up a few million to start a department, then a few more million to fund a billion dollar bond to feed his vanity project. Please feel free to explain if I've got this wrong, as I'd love a little more hope in humanity.

I think my differentiation between scifi and fantasy comes back to whether the driving force is sentient. If cold atomic interaction is responsible it's scifi, if an uncaring god crafted an item of power, that's fantasy.

We will be setting your clock back one hour EVERY Sunday, until our demands are met.

I feel like there's a big generational difference between ring bearers. Gollum got hundreds of years, and it's unfair to judge him by the end, rather than the good years. Plus, bonus for closing out the series. Respect.

I think McDonald's is great, and I still think electing a literal fucking clown to run the country is problematic.

I'm just an Apr '23 soul trapped in a Nov '24 world.

The year is 2057, and the world power grid is sustained via expired convenience sauce packets and obsolete computer cords. Your foresight and planning have paid off.

An enterprising journalist might track down who is PAYING for these (D) anti-trans spots, and I'm gonna bet $1 it's a billionaire who is playing their dumb asses, and is well aware it's hurting their odds.

Add "Between My Legs" to a movie title. Sunrise Between My Legs: A Song of Two Humans

You try to scream But terror takes the sound before you make it You start to freeze As horror looks you right between the eyes You're paralyzed Reply with one(!) of Mummy Vampire Witch Zombie Wolf Ghost to add a mark of warding (or affection, who can tell) upon yourself for that horror

If I'm going to live in a casual dining decorated house, I want it to be Elephant Bar. Give me brass lamps, mahogany chairs and steamer trunks.

If I unfollowed you, it's not anymore personal than it is when you post AI political cartoons without alttext. It's just easier to unfollow sometimes, and most of my other mutuals don't seem to mind.

I'm starting to think all these billionaire investors in social media are not doing it to promote their favorite cat memes. It's like they think this stuff is facilitating their influence on public opinion rather than leveling the playing field by increasing public debates like we've been told. Hmm.