THE DEMON CAT

im battery farming leprechauns for my zero calorie cured meat snack company. keeping them in iron cages and breeding them with artificial rainbows generated by prisms

the woke weft <- term from a world where 18th century french politicians arranged themselves on a loom

anyone who builds or aids in the building of air-vents and other such passages that are not large enough for me to use to stalk and ambush unsuspecting prey is being declared an enemy of reality

MR. VAMPIRE II (Lau, 1986)

When hanging out with taciturn friend group and someone starts acting loquacious

eating leprechaun meat for weight loss bc it fills u up then disappears before u digest it

our donuts of dunkin are collapsing

you cannot get at it

woke up today feeling a bit.... evil.... ..

You must go home and be born over again; you don’t know how to cook a whale-steak yet.

I hear that lifting with one's back is in fashion right now

They faked the moon

doing this to birdgirls in my phone

Being told I have to stop threatening to Stand My Ground against the pomeranian in the neighbors' window

I have a desparate need to kick someone clean off of a horse

I keep trying to tell my mirror self that with our terrible powers combined we can conquer both cardinalities of existence but she never listens and instead just tries to look at me inappropriately

YOU CAN SEE EVERYTHING is very divisive right now, but there's one trick it uses that even its most ardent haters would have to concede is very effective. Fielder displays his shots in rapid succession, 30+ per second, which makes it seem like Elizabeth Holmes and him are really moving on the screen

I Am The Apex Predator Of Market Basket

making puzzleseeds so I can do hellraiser shit to birds

Heh... I sure hope this Pinhead guy does not have a daughter... I do not think He'll Raise 'er well if he does......

Maidfangs are valued alchemical ingredients used in the synthesis of tooth serum

I am the darkness of all futures that magician can't see shit. Fire Fuck w/ Me

Hey Watch This *baps you in the eye (with claws)*

bro im scampering

Thinking again about a story I wrote last year. Not that it was especially good or anything I just miss when I was actually completing things instead of the current state of affairs

basically many of the girls you know could be cats

making puzzleseeds so I can do hellraiser shit to birds

this reminds me of one of my favorite posts about Gundam ever.

the dreadful sense of an impending finale

if u ask a dyke what movie she wants to watch with u and she starts talking about david cronenberg & asking if you’ve seen crash the little inside out guys inside her head start running for cover because Horny just pulled a gun on the rest of them

headbutt from a girl with Double D horn covers

Missionary Being Eaten by a Jaguar, 1967 by artist Noé León

just like great great great grandma used to...

inventing a new, good rorschach test (all the inkblots have been replaced by BLITs)

they hate me for my extremely spammable jugular deathstrike command grab