Orlean Cooper

Intrigued to see who wins in the Israeli elections: the right, the right, or the right.

Contreras genuinely having the most dominant game in abs history.

It's very possible the Milwaukee Brewers are the best team of this final season of Major League Baseball.

made a meme

John Smoltz is an excellent salesman if you demand your client hate the product.

"Make up your mind, Polymarket!" is some grim shit to hear in a World Series game.

In his acceptance speech, Lula says he will work to regulate digital platforms in Brazil. “Digital crimes must be dealt with like real-life crimes.” This comes after Meta directly interfered with the Brazilian elections, favouring Flávio Bolsonaro.

Translate to English function is semi humorous

To score a touchdown on the ground you have to just barely reach the ball through an imaginary plane. To score a touchdown through the air you have to do 28 magical things simultaneously.

Niners fated to lose this one. As am I, because my seven year old is angry that he can't understand what a catch is.

National Tight Ends Day now has all the charm of National Hamburger Day.

marine corps boards crossing out their instructions "expel trans marines" and writing in "we keep this trans marine" is, frankly, a great example of what it means that a society is more than just its government

98 percent of Somalis don't work. 100 percent have Benzes. Which is why I'm 300 percent moving to Somalia now.

UCF wins! Which also means Dragon Sound wins!

When it doesn't happen, Manfred says it's a shame it doesn't happen. When it happens, Manfred says it's a shame it doesn't happen more often.

Curse of the Tampa Bay Devil Rays: the current Rays will be continually good but never win a World Series until they rename themselves Devil Rays.

I hate how if Ryan Garcia fights Floyd Mayweather, you're forcing me to root for Ryan Garcia of all people.

The Fox baseball scorebox is a crime against baseball and scoreboxes.

There are two people running for my City Council seat in Brooklyn, one running as a Democrat, one as a Haris Bhatti.

Now most known for a certain slim/shady sample, but man, the whole thing smolders. www.youtube.com/watch?v=xKIS...

If you're a connoisseur of on-brand James Dolan pettiness, grudge-settling, and ham-fisted dumbassery, have I got the article for you www.nytimes.com/athletic/771...

I just heard the name Eli Brarion for the first time and it felt like he had the 60s Batman nickname of "The Librarian."

Lights are reflected off a bulletproof screen as President Trump speaks during a campaign rally in Greenville, North Carolina. More photos of the week: reut.rs/4yGkBNh 📷 Evan Vucci

Absolutely livid that Lin-Manuel Miranda's musical adaptation of THE WARRIORS is just called WARRIORS.

Love it when two large NYPD insist on shoving their way onto an F train that's jammed packed because the line had done bullshit brake issues. This train car is made much safer by two guys who couldn't possibly move if they had to. (And yes, they're on their phones.)

It feels like there's already been 2 tv movies, three documentaries, and two documentary series about Mike Tyson.

JD Vance greeting Bengals players and most are ignoring him lol

The first genuinely honest ad for generative AI I've ever seen, from Microsoft / CoPilot A mediocre white guy sees his non-white colleague getting praised for good work, he asks AI to *literally copy it*, and then he gets all the praise instead: www.ispot.tv/ad/SoDi/micr...

"Ohhiiiiii...I'm forever your girl!"

holy smokes, conan strikes up a chat with a random lady on the subway and she immediately starts riffing on his level, no problem.

"For God so hated his Son that he gave him to the World, because fuck that guy and fuck everyone." -John 3:16

RIP to this angel

www.youtube.com/watch?v=6N4a...

The Rams lost to a 1-4 team that could have blown them out but they became compulsively unable to score a touchdown. There are losses inside that loss.

Love to get disqualified for unsportsmanlike conduct while wearing giant crosses as eye black. It's what the Lord would want.

driving my tesla roadster, i ask grok to schedule a dentist appointment. it generates a gothic anime version of the dentist’s receptionist with huge tits that asks me if i want a cleaning. i get so hard my neuralink activates the tesla’s thrusters and i slam 90 mph into a wall killing me instantly

ME: Dr. John plays the piano on “Cop Shoot Cop” by Spiritualized. That’s crazy MY THERAPIST: (Furiously scribbling something on notepad) That’s crazy

Accidentally cut myself during the demonstration part of the Cutco sales training. I could not in good conscious attempt to sell such low quality, excessively sharp knives.

Finally listening to BEFORE THE WORLD BLOWS. It's disorienting (complimentary).

The problem with AI PowerPoint decks is the same as the problem with AI signs: people can recognize them as AI and your lazy ass isn't getting any credit for that shit.