The Official Podcast Of Ted -- Prof. of Na'Vi Butthole Theory

This week @americanruse.bsky.social and the crew (@timsvlog.bsky.social, @thegreggiest.bsky.social, Kevin) came together to talk about the big skeet that recently went viral on BlueSky and then wrote 3 wildly popular follow-ups. share.transistor.fm/s/2bcbfdf5

Forget parents using AI to raise their children. Raise an AI child instead. You can make them whatever color and height you want. my son is neon red, he is 20 feet tall. sometimes I make him very fat and roll him down the hill. He crushes cars and homes.

HAS THIS EVER HAPPENED TO YOU? *black and white infomercial footage of a parent sweating over a notepad, pen in hand. a clock in the background spins around to show the passage of a full 24 hours without them having written a single word. the notepad reads "say 3 nice things about your kid."*

He’s running.

Just saw a post that said “regarding the Cheesecake Factory discourse” and I’m just glad I’m on vacation right now

I’m in England if anyone needs anything.

It is funny to imagine a person going to see this movie and having no idea who any of the people are. They just read Oppenheimer and were like oh shit i loved his bomb movie.

The Boston Celtics are back to ruin my life.

It’s really just asking “can you go?” until a real doctor steps in.

There’s no way the monopoly man didn't own slaves or at least use child labor.

As a Miami fan that was clearly a touchdown lmao

I’m not saying this clip or special are good, but we have got to have a blue sky general meeting about comedically absurd premises.

Everyone at work, the gas station, hell even people stopping me on the freeway all to ask one question, did @greggy.org like Digger?

Carrie discourse? right away, chef. to which table?

Me: the president is fat, stinky, and he’s not good at wearing suits. Fascism: fuck bro you fucking killed me

Happy Birthday to all the people born on this day. It’s your birthday!

I think I’m officially out on thinking Joe Mazzulla was the good kind of crazy.

asking the bartender for a drink served under a dome filled with smoke but hold the smoke, I want it to look like my drink is a Bond villain that’s been tricked into a glass prison cell.

I feel bad for tom cruise I might go watch Digger in theaters

The resident evil movie was truly awesome. Also, Hollywood handbook is very funny this week.

Major newspapers: Glue is the New Goo bsky user: quote tweet about how Glue is actually the old goo

chargjnv my phon

Due to an error in how they dubbed early episodes, lines originally recorded for “the evil professor” accidentally were matched with lil Stewie Griffin

All the best posters are on X, the everything website.

Just saw John Cena doing an ad for bread.

I vant to suck your Bud ahahaha

Shoutout to the Bud Light Dracula

Bumper sticker: my other car is a Mazda

They’re gonna Jeffrey Epstein Ed Sheeran and say we bullied him into suicide for fighting against anti-semitism.

I’ve decided to stay out of this Ed Sheeran debacle. Him and Mac are both close friends. Hope they can work this out.

A bird having a dream where his feathers fall off in front of the whole flock.

If you see me acting fake, you must’ve seen somebody else. Always keep it real. OG thought of the day.

This guy was telling me about this artist who put a shark in a tank in a museum and the whole conversation I imagined it was like an anti-war thing because there was a shark inside an artillery tank.

Do our fans want another podcast episode? What should it be about? Scott Grimes on ER?

harry Potter should look to camera in episode 1 and say “I disagree with my creator on several issues!”

www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYEv...

This ”artist” at the bar was talking about what how something wasn’t art and I jumped in and said isn’t anything art though? and it started a 45 minute conversation that I wasn’t even a part of. Felt so good.

What can I say… I just got that crazy vibe.

Lot of my friends were real dirt bags growing up, real pieces of shit. But they had good hearts.

Let me make this clear for you, boss. I wasn’t late for work today. That was a character I perform as called Childish Gambino. You don’t arrest James Gandolfini for the crimes of Tony Soprano… you see, Childish Gambino was late.

Yikes, my post went viral, and Ive been told it is AI and misinformation. What a fool I am! I recognize my mistake, but it is too late. The post really must stay up. I fear deleting it would deprive the world of a moral lesson. Learn from my mistakes, like them, and retweet them.