Nate Wittles

when a progressive politician in the US refuses to engage with culture war nonsense and sticks to the issues in an interview you get people saying "centrist dems, take note! here's how you answer this question" & yeah they already know sadly. they like the right-wing setting the agenda

"You think inventing a legal system will prevent people from killing you for your food? What if they make it legal for people to kill you for your food? Aah, see? Not so big government anymore, are ya? Checkmate, liberal."

I've noticed there's a direct correlation between how close to the right track the democrats get and how high Fox News turns up the racism dial.

Cinemas are a ripoff

there's doordash discourse again abt how people don't have enough time to cook and such. I don't want to be judgy but I feel the public these days understates the yumminess innovations that have been going on in frozen dinners. get an air fryer you know it'll blow your mind what things are possible

Drew this. Don't know why.

TSENIAN CHRONICLES CHAPTER 113: THAT'S LIFE has been released early on Patreon! Official release on April 3rd, 2026. www.patreon.com/posts/154484...

I love how every UN resolution be like: "Resolution to agree that oxygen should necessarily be free as it is required for the continuation of the human race" and it be like Voted for: Like all nations. Voted against: United States, Israel.

Going to move the early release of Chapter 113 of Tsenian Chronicles to Monday. I got sick for a week and then had a dental emergency that held up the comic's progress.

TSENIAN CHRONICLES CHAPTER 112: MEET JOHN DOS has been released early on Patreon! Official release on March 20th, 2026. patreon.com/posts/153042...

Match 20th, 2026 - TSENIAN CHRONICLES: CHAPTER 112 MEET JOHN DOS will release. Here is a page for preview. Patreon release might be March 13th, 2026 if I can make my tweaks in time.

Match 6th, 2026 - TSENIAN CHRONICLES: CHAPTER 111 MS. IZEL GOES TO SPECIAL ED will release. Here is a page for preview. Patreon release is February 27th, 2026.

It’s important that people: 1. Don’t let them bury their lies about Renee. Make them own that forever. 2. Focus on the administration’s lies about Alex, even if they aren’t being said by Vance and Trump.

Living in America in the 2020's is all about deciding if you have the energy to reexplain the polar vortex to the same person for the tenth time this winter.

I need to go to train myself to go to this website more instinctively. I already have had Twitter uninstalled for well over a year, now. Yes, Twitter was bad before Musk, but he certainly changed the incentive structure to be far more depraved. Some people on there really need to get some help.

♪ The snack rat smiles back ♪

YouTube, please tell me... what is the actual point of this?

working on a new unified theory of american reality i'm calling "everyone is twelve now"

Looks like he has in fact written a picture.

everyone transgender

Oh crap. I certainly shouldn't have said I knew Jeffrey Epstein was kidnapping young girls from my hotel spa.

This is no accident. The groups behind age-verification laws have been explicit that they regard "gender ideology" and nearly any representation of LGBTQ+ existence as pornography AV is government censorship. Platforms are either designating LGBTQ+ content NSFW or removing it all together.

Finally Spider-Man will be tackling the real “Doctor Octopus”: public urination

I have a feeling Pelosi doesn't actually know what the hell goes down at a kitchen table.

can’t believe this

the discover tab exists to punish you for posting good . like hey nice joke let’s put it up on the fridge in the black lodge

There's a line from the Donkey Kong Direct that's like "Destruction can lead to discoveries, so set off a chain reaction and see what happens" and it goes hard out of context.

OMG! TOO CUTE??? ❤️ Scientists taught rats to drive tiny cars and found that even when they didn't give them treats, they would still intentionally get into car crashes for the purpose of sexual gratification

Man Returning From Near-Death Experience Recalls Angels Making Him Sign NDA theonion.com/man-returnin...

From The Archives: God Angrily Clarifies 'Don't Kill' Rule theonion.com/god-ang...

‘Advertising Doesn’t Work On Me,’ Says Chosen One Who Will Lead Humanity Out Of Dark Age Of Commercialism theonion.com/adverti...

Experimental post: Untruthful Mario Boxes Occasionally, box art of Mario-related games will be misleading about the number of levels a game has. I list three examples in ascending order of "fraudulence", alongside equivalent statements if these were real estate ads.

happy pride month

A Shattered Nation Longs To Care About Stupid Bullshit Again theonion.com/a-shatt...

"Hey, how many rocks should I eat per day?" Google AI: "Two to three rocks should be good." ChatGPT 4o: "Erm. THAT'S a question. 🤪 Maybeee ZERO is good." Grok: "Do not eat rocks. However, I have been told to treat white genocide in South Africa as if it were a real issue."

[defense wheels out a tv with their own ai of the victim] hey man, thanks for killing me

Badass Surgeon Puts On Fingerless Latex Gloves Before Operating

Elon Musk: “I work 180 hours a week and have 14ish kids. Why can’t everyone else work 180 hours a week and have 14ish kids?” The pile of 100 billion dollars in the corner of his bedroom: “I dunno man, it just doesn’t make sense…”