moppettshow.bsky.social

Dear all pub websites, no, I don't want to sign up to your fucking newsletter.

Back from the pharmacy only to discover that they have dispensed someone else's prescription. And it's not even anything fun that's worth keeping :-(

Another cunt with an acoustic guitar. That's what we were all crying out for. #SPAARG

I think the government might have seriously overestimated the English pub-goers' ability to pace themselves. No-one will even make it to 1am.

Man pretends that humans can change sex in order to win applause from other men. Please excuse the yawns...

Might I just say in advance of the incoming heatwave: fuck the weather for the next week.

Now I know what purgatory is: being 45 and stuck on a small hospital ward where all the other patients are retired and having a nostalgia group wank.

Okay, the £3.99 Merlot from Aldi was not a good idea. The second bottle, however, is hitting the spot after a couple of Rennies. Minty afternotes, but smoother on the stomach.

A patient with type 1 diabetes has begun producing his own insulin after receiving a transplant of pancreatic cells. For the first time, islet cells have been edited so they wouldn't be rejected by the patient, removing the need for immunosuppressant drugs. www.sciencealert.com/first-of-its...

Firing mental crossbow bolts at the parents who decided to outfit their child with a referee's whistle at nine in the fucking evening.

Eth-eth-eth-eth-eth, eth-eth-eth-eth-eth sminki-pinki whiskasfullameatygoodness Chris Waddle www.youtube.com/watch?v=ch_F...

South East Water unveil latest technology to capture current deluge in Kent:

Man chastises woman for helping animals.

Big storm's a-coming here in Kent. May it dispel the clamminess in time for bed.

Just off the phone with my mother, who had somehow become convinced of the fact that the Wright brothers' first flight took place on the Isle of Sheppey. I can't stop laughing. Is it too early for a drink?

“Pray tell. The Baron, what sort of gentleman is he?” “Well…”

Just ran the bathroom door over my big toe. Fuck everything.

Got my second wind and neatened up the edges on the shepherd's pie. Going for another lie-down now.

How to pizza properly: www.youtube.com/watch?v=dICK...

I hesitate slightly to lower the tone, but will do anyway… www.suffolkgazette.com/pothole-art-...

Facebook has very kindly reminded me that it's 2 years to the day since I had surgery on a perianal abscess.

This man is worth an hour of anyone's time: www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nLH...

It did a snow! For a bit. Rain later.

HbA1c down to 40! It turns out I do have some degree of willpower. Now to apply it to cholesterol...

My fridge is finally free from roast meat and potatoes in their various forms. However, I think it will be the cauliflower cheese that I shall miss the most. #HappyNewYear

Just realised my pants have been on the wrong way round since I donned them on this morning. #HappyNewYear2025

Google has just reminded me of a poignant series of photos I took 2 years ago of my blocked and overflowing drain, coloured by the muted tones of the winter sun.

Peace to you all. www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZe3...

They should have dug it out sooner. It will never be defrosted by Christmas morning.

this is from last christmas but it's still one of the best photos of her i've ever taken. happy holidays from me and hubris

Mr Escher

Taking on Sainsbury's at 6 a.m. If I should die, think only this of me: that there's some corner of a busy cheese aisle that put me on statins in the first place.

Chauvet Cave was discovered on the 18th December 1994. 30 years ago today. To many it is the most arresting expression of cave art in the archaeological record & it is one of the oldest examples in Europe. Here are four of my highlights. archeologie.culture.gouv.fr/chauvet/en #AncientSky 🦣🏺

The joy of Mozart: www.youtube.com/watch?v=lP9V...

As we approach Midwinter, here's The Black Stag from the cave of Lascaux. Considered to be either a creature of Ice Age myth, or a rendering of an extinct Megaloceros. Deep in the ground it was drawn above geometric symbols, including 13 circles, the meaning of which is now lost. #AncientSky 🌙🦌🦣🏺

www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqeJ...

Oh good, the porn bots have arrived.

Guardian journalists are on strike. In solidarity, here are the articles I refuse to link to: - I say return our looted culture to Cro-Magnon France - I thought I was dying - but I'd just skipped lunch! - Finally, at 36, I understand old age - I spent a week in the North and it wasn't too bad [1/2]

The chief reason that I enjoy Shostakovich's Jazz Suites is that they contain precisely zero jazz.

The inexplicability of Gregg Wallace's media career is matched only by its longevity.

What, the Greggg Wallace who said on Masterchef "I'm desperate to dip that pork into something wet!". And not forgetting the time that he was on the cover of the free Waitrose paper.

I feel like it's time for the annual appreciation of this, the greatest ever twitter reply

Optimist: the glass is half full Pessimist: the glass is half empty Me: what cunt's had half my pint?

Best dog breeds: West Highland Blunderbuss Synchronised Nesting Spaniel Viking Burial Hound Vauxhall Retriever Dutch Exciter Victorian Mourning Pug Short-Haired Oscillator Crested Henry

Hope Bryan Habana's whiplash isn't too serious #ENGvSA

This is going to be a tough watch. SA by 2 scores. #EngvSA #rugby