Michael Cort

we can sneak around town / hunting working folks down / I hear they got a great benefit plan join ICE boy ain’t it nice / join ICE take my advice www.tiktok.com/@jessewelles...

Thought I heard music playing over my own music, so I paused mine, only to discover that it was the birds chirping outside my window. Now I’m having an existential moment about the nature of art and humanity.

Well I for one find it comforting that at least our nation’s best and brightest are in charge of handling the situation.

theonion.com/this-war-wil...

[Hammer Films floated this fabulous idea in the early 1970s, but it only made it as far as this poster.]

I have been sick for a week and I just read about "something going around" in a subreddit, which I guess is how I get my information now that the CDC is officially spending the next four years determining when and how microscopes became gay.

I have never been more proud to be an atheist

I think it all started when I found out that not only are there maniacs who double space after periods, but that these people will try to make you feel like a Neanderthal for not doing that.

MAGAts freaking out about Green Day again

youtu.be/Az5dzXRRh4E?...

The skeleton key to understanding reactionary conservatism is quite simple: they are scared, all the time, of everything.

At this rate MAGA will only be able to afford to rent the libs.

Timeline cleanse 🌞

Have they dismantled the deep state yet?

CNN: A new poll gives us a sense of who Democrats and Democratic leaning voters think best aligns with the party's core values. And that's Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

It may not be cool or hip in some circles, but we legitimately do need a massive amount of people to run for office. Flood the school boards, councils, county seats, state legislatures, Congress, etc. Big changes at the top happen when the ground shifts at the bottom. And that can start now.

I created you in My image and I am an asshole.

That’s more like it.

Crypto guy in 2014: Crypto will revolutionize finance and change how we interact with money Crypto in 2025:

NBC Producers Deny Using AI In New Series ‘Detective Fireman Lawyer Chicago Los Angeles Show’ theonion.com/nbc-pro...

just found out my wife was a fucking dei hire

If Hunter Biden hadn’t done the something, something DEI on his laptop, this collision would have never happened

Cheapest eggs I saw while grocery shopping today were $7.19/dozen.

just put a feather in my hat and yankee doodle was right. this shit is straight up macaroni

Me: *Slides alien $5 and a pudding cup* Take me off this planet please.

i don't know what any of the deepseek stuff means in the long term but i know it's making people i dislike upset and yeah sure i'll take the endorphin hit equivalent of a mcdouble any day of the week

My crankiest belief is that we are now being sold on solutions to problems which only exist because we've let others convince us they exist. That is what "innovation" seems to be in 2025. There's a level of introspection that's just not happening these days re: what actually needs to bother us.

Remember song fade-outs? Like where was the song going? And why could I not follow it there??

Taganga, Colombia (January 2025)

I bet mead drunk at 1 am at the tavern hit when the minstrel play that banger

We wanted to understand the economic rationale for buying Greenland. So we talked to three unvaccinated UFC fans at a Jersey Mike's in Toms River.

video games are an invaluable tool in teaching children to find and kill god

El Cocuy, Boyacá, Colombia December ‘24

it genuinely sucks that basically nothing on the internet works well anymore. search? barely works. social media? filled with garbage engagement-bait designed to game the algorithm. news websites? pages that refresh at random or so covered in video ads that it’s impossible to read stories

Just waiting for the first wave of ‘iPad kids are entering the workforce’ articles.

Paul Atreides in a trance, simultaneously savoring the genetic memory of every single Dorito eaten by humanity’s ancestors

This man and a small group of capitol police officers singlehandedly saved our democracy four years ago. In November, 77 million Americans said "to hell with them" and voted for the insurrectionists. Your "Back the Blue" flags are a pathetic disgrace and your patriotism is bullsh*t.