Michael Boulerice

Today is my 46th birthday. It's also publishing day for INHALATION. If it's alright with you guys, I'd like to talk about why this book exists, as well as spend some time thanking the folks who made this possible

Two months later, I've finally done it. I have watched all 720 episodes of Naruto. I have learned nothing on this journey

Slide one of these puppies in front of me and I am immediately rendered powerless. I will play until I am blue in the face

Please check your candy. Just got back from trick-or-treating and found a form rejection in a Snickers bar

Just checked my 23&Me to confirm, and it appears my parents were Salad Fingers and Pinhead

Love seeing my gigantic head in print

This is actually hilarious 😂 🤣 The man makes some valid points, tho Shark, at home just minding its business, then here comes this stranger

I'm wildly late to the game (happy to blame Apple TV for never marketing anything), but Slow Horses is one of the best shows I've watched in a very long time. Gary Oldman as greasy boozebag spy Jackson Lamb is giving me life

Publishing is just like anywhere else, and by that I mean a lot of folks who scream about righteousness and accountability are also quietly doing the most morally obtuse shit behind the scenes. I'm not picking on anyone in particular, but YOU KNOW you know at least one sneaky motherfucker like this

The fun thing about playing the "never hurl the same insult twice at men cutting you off while leaving a New England Dunkin Donuts" game for over twenty years is that eventually you will scream YOU FUCK BUCKET FULL OF PISS TITS at a middle-aged guy with a chrome Jesus fish emblem on his Ford F150

If you're looking for a Boulerice recommendation for a book that will occasionally crawl up the back of your unguarded neck to remind you about how unsettled you were while you were first reading it several years after the fact, Tatratea is for you. Alex OUTDID herself with this one

Looks like the vibes are strong with this one! TATRATEA, my weird-eco-gothic-horror-cosmic-SF-post-apocalyptic fever dream of a book is out today, and readers seem to be getting out of it exactly what I was hoping for and more. Thank you for listening. We're all on this one way trip together🌱

Okay I'm ready for Halloween

Calling my lawyer I did not agree to this

TEACHER: All together now DRONING VOICES OF BORED CHILDREN: the-worst-people-have-figured-out-you-can-just-lie-about-the-stupidest-shit-imaginable-to-shift-narratives-and-evade-accountability-and-reporters-will-gobble-it-up-and-puke-it-back-out-for-the-rest-of-us-because-big-tech-killed-journalism

get haunted, bud

Was just trying to figure out what I'm gonna do instead of StokerCon next year, and then I was like WAIT WHAT ABOUT BIZARROCON?! THE CON I KEEP PROMISING I'LL ATTEND SOMEDAY?! So yeah, I'll be there in May. Feels like I'll be a good fit for this particular group of batshit lunatics

Shout out to Aussie Miracle Curls conditioner for making me look like that chick from Brave

Heading to the tippy-top of New Hampshire (up by the Canadian border) for some four-wheeling, campfires, quiet writing, and general North Country relaxation. Now that the pool is closed and MerMike has retired, MountainMike must flex his Feral Darryl muscles and howl at the moon for a bit

Gambling app ads make me pine for the days when you had to meet a bookie intermediary who let you bet on the worst parlay imaginable and if you didn't pay you got a visit from Maury Six Dicks who wouldn't give you time to ask about his nickname before shattering your knee with a sock full of lugnuts

Boatloads of fun chatting with readers and slinging books at the Masters of Macabre event last night! Normally I fly all over the country to do this kind of thing, so being able to shoot 20 minutes down the road to meet horror fans who are *actually from* where all of my books are based was awesome

Nice, I can't wait for 0.25 star reviews from User9754479 that are all like "this author needs christ in his life"

www.eventbrite.com/e/masters-of... This is tonight! If you're in North Hampton, NH, come say hi!

Today's the day! If the drive is easy enough for you, come on by Throwback Brewery in North Hampton, NH. I'll be slinging copies of INHALATION and FEEDING THE WHEEL, and if you buy one of each I'll give you a free copy of WILD WILD WEIRD, the chapbook I just put out with @itsmedavidcorse.bsky.social

Chet Hanks going after Eric Andre in the airport means I have to officially retire this stupid meme of mine. Be the light you want to see in the world

On Thursday, I'll be at Throwback Brewery with some very cool fellow authors. Please come by! www.eventbrite.com/e/masters-of...

open.substack.com/pub/greasygo... @alexwoodroe.com @clashbooks.bsky.social

I'll be here this Thursday! Come say hi to all the cool authors coming to this. 🖤🔪🩸

Tried to take a selfie and just ended up looking like I’m about to be flattened by a speeding Kia Sorento

The audiobook for INHALATION is live! No idea why Amazon is dragging its feet, but here's links for everywhere else: Hoopla: tinyurl.com/2zsfpafs B&N: tinyurl.com/4d3fyesx Spotify: tinyurl.com/yfvcx52c Apple: tinyurl.com/y24yjea5 Audiobooks: tinyurl.com/vkcytr66 Kobo: tinyurl.com/4eujf39f

Baby's First Local Horror Event: I've been invited to sign copies of INHALATION and FEEDING THE WHEEL over at Throwback Brewery in North Hampton, NH on October 8th at 6:00 pm. Tickets are free. Come buy some books and drink eleven pints with me. Party www.eventbrite.com/e/masters-of...

Man I have so much great news I'm not allowed to talk about. Multiple short story acceptances. Multiple book contracts. Unrevealed cover art. Someone's gonna have to chisel a hole in my skull to vent the pressure. I'm fucking dying over here

Is there a way for me to remove the Muse icon from the share bar on Instagram or do I just have to stare at his bullshit Liberty Bibberty ass forever

Horror books that will creepy you out vs. horror books that will disturb you. Which is your team? #horrorbooks #transgressivebooks

I can't believe Darryl Hall put up with this shit for all those years

Please tell your children it's cool and smart to go into the trades. I would gladly pay double for a competent plumber instead of having to hire a second plumber to fix my first plumber's obscene fuckups. They will be pulling up to your family's holiday get-togethers in Lamborghinis

It's not even October and I've already arrived at the "if someone ordering a pumpkin spice latte makes you rage-fill your diaper on socials you are too weak to be speaking to me" portion of autumn

Extremely mid nor'easter so far. Casual rain levels, wind didn't rip my tits off. 2/10, C- effort from the Soros Weather Lasers

We get it, finding horror books that will creep you out is hard. But we’re willing to bet one of our books will have you second-guessing turning your light off. The following books are just a sampling of what Dead Sky Publishing has to offer.

These are the ugliest goddamned running kicks I've ever ordered (you know me so you know this is quite a statement), but friggin hell are they comfortable. They look like corrective shoes you'd slap on a sick kid in a space hospital, but I feel like I just slid my feet into two bags of marshmallows