Michael Ashcroft

early morning contact naps with a three week old might be one of the best things most mornings from around 5am I lie with him on the sofa while reading and it feels very precious and it feels great that I can give his mother another round of much deeper sleep for 2-3 hours

I like how it's possible to deeply enjoy the bittersweet nature of transient wonderful experiences rather than fighting the grief, I'm finding ways to actually enjoy it in real time alongside the pure enjoyment of the connection and early morning quiet

early morning contact naps with a three week old might be one of the best things most mornings from around 5am I lie with him on the sofa while reading and it feels very precious and it feels great that I can give his mother another round of much deeper sleep for 2-3 hours

I had a single espresso at 3pm thinking it wouldn’t affect my sleep and I am disheartened to report that this is not the case

I'm not particularly worried about people being one-shotted by the 6D mesoamerican demon when taking ayahuasca I'm much more worried about people already having been one-shotted by the 2D infinite scroll demon in their hands that lets them avoid feeling uncomfortable on demand

so many of us are severely emotionally constipated, and phones are the ultra-processed food in our diets so many of us would benefit from having a very long overdue emotional bowel movement which, yes, might feel painful for a few moments but then it feels good! flow >>> stuck

I'm not particularly worried about people being one-shotted by the 6D mesoamerican demon when taking ayahuasca I'm much more worried about people already having been one-shotted by the 2D infinite scroll demon in their hands that lets them avoid feeling uncomfortable on demand

until EXTREMELY recently humans have not had the option to not be with the unpleasant feelings and the ways of avoiding the unpleasant feelings historically had much more severe costs, physically and socially

I'm not particularly worried about people being one-shotted by the 6D mesoamerican demon when taking ayahuasca I'm much more worried about people already having been one-shotted by the 2D infinite scroll demon in their hands that lets them avoid feeling uncomfortable on demand

and all the while part of you knows it's doing this! and this spins up the self-shaming demon that questions why you're such a piece of shit who can't stop scrolling this itself is a really shitty loop to be in, it really sucks, feels terrible

I'm not particularly worried about people being one-shotted by the 6D mesoamerican demon when taking ayahuasca I'm much more worried about people already having been one-shotted by the 2D infinite scroll demon in their hands that lets them avoid feeling uncomfortable on demand

yes it feels bad to interrupt that habit when you feel bad and not pick up the phone yes it can be incredibly difficult to do but, being honest... you can still kinda feel that shitty emotion right? it's still lingering there... and you know it's there...

I'm not particularly worried about people being one-shotted by the 6D mesoamerican demon when taking ayahuasca I'm much more worried about people already having been one-shotted by the 2D infinite scroll demon in their hands that lets them avoid feeling uncomfortable on demand

people are worried about the risk of falling in love with AI, but that's just an extension of the same habit we've already entrained in ourselves feel bad -> suppress with technology often without even knowing that we've done it

I'm not particularly worried about people being one-shotted by the 6D mesoamerican demon when taking ayahuasca I'm much more worried about people already having been one-shotted by the 2D infinite scroll demon in their hands that lets them avoid feeling uncomfortable on demand

This hospital has a roof “garden!” say hello to Delhi on a day of comparatively much less pollution

so the oscillation of the stream of fluid my forehead is extremely interesting it seems to trigger some perceptual shift that I haven’t figured out yet but I had moments of tension releasing in my body along with sudden awareness of certain childhood memories not strong, but definitely there

Claude, who knows an unreasonably impressive amount about Ayurveda, says this is intentional and expected, (the memory thing), which I didn’t know before I asked

so this Pancharkarma (three ish weeks of Ayurvedic treatment in a hospital in a Delhi suburb) might end up being one of the weirdest things I’ve ever done at least it will occupy a place in a certain dimension of weird that is rarely accessed, if not being the actual One Weirdest Thing

I am about to spend nearly a month in a hospital in Delhi doing an Ayurvedic treatment programme so I am going to be posting a lot I think also AMA if you want

I am FASCINATED to understand how bluesky got memed into these beliefs about ‘tpot’