mack bites

words to live by

woe to you, oh earth and sea

Thursday is a paid holiday. Because Flavor Flav said so.

marry the gnocchi

Did you know you can just buy a cattle prod at the feed store and use it on crowds at your leisure?

seeing naked man ass on blue today was not on my wish list

#Jokesters

Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage

😂😂😂🔦

I’m just 99 Smurfs in Gargamels’ skin suit

Being an adult is mostly just walking around your house looking at things that need to be cleaned, repaired, or replaced, and then deciding to sit on the couch and stare at a smaller screen.

Never friend your current coworkers; it allows them to see how cool you are and then they want to hang out with you.

I wonder if DoorDash will deliver to my bedroom. I’ll give them five stars.

Wrapping Chocolate covered Brussel sprouts in golden foils of disappointment 😆 🤣 for Halloween 🎃 👻 🤡

This is how I know I’ve gotten old … I see some of these guys posting thirst traps on here and I … just wanna feed their skinny asses a sammich.

All libraries should do this

This one made me laugh out loud... 😜

if it's not all over your face, you're eating it wrong

Not to brag but I know a thing or two about fuckin' shit up.

There's nothing I could possibly have in common with someone who can only eat half of a cupcake.

Rose #Autumn #flowers #rosecity #bloomscrolling

Oh look! There's my house! No, not there... OVER THERE! 😃🤣 #PureMichigan

Cold rainy day. Perfect for a hot cuppa and a good book. 😍